The Frog Blog

Before the Dawn Heals

2011-12-30T18:54:00.000-08:00

I caught a fleeting glimpse
Of the glowing embers of tomorrow
Taking solace in the burning afterglow
Of the early morning breeze
Stiring the voice within to echo in the light:
There will
Always be another sea to swim and
Another star to wish upon

Dreams are only worth something if they are actively pursued. I have just pulled a big one from the sky and now my mind is spinning for what to do next. The past two years I have been focusing most of my energy into obtaining my teaching license. That has finally been realized and for now I have been reveling in the satisfaction. Almost four years ago I came to Hawaii with a backpack, a pair of running shoes and a smile. What a journey it has been. I had a dream to run, surf, wander, explore, climb trees, and sing songs of joy every day of my life and somehow make it work. I had no clue how to make it happen except by just doing it and not questioning myself.

I know of sea and mountains and love, have
Roamed the murky bottoms looking for truth and
Heard fools preaching from podiums
Knowing to let the words of the wind guide me
Never drinking wine from the cellars of discontent
Or squabbling with the birds at high noon
I said goodbye to fear and made it relinquish its grip years ago and have
Walked with the dawn through lonesome fields and
Waltzed with the night sky, sung with frogs and
Admired the strength of seedlings knowing
I’m just a drop of dew in the vast ocean

I heard a sound that came from a spring within
And felt it trickle through the silence as it was
Caressed by truth and seen in my dreams
Sung by all those who also heard and
Recognized as love
Love that engulfs itself
Love that is silent in a sea of sound
Love that is a beacon of light on a bleak night
Love that extends its hand blindly
Love that knows of sorrow and despair
And still laughs wildly
Love that bends in circles
Around and around and around
Love that sails the high seas
Love that smiles at everyone
Love that knows the night sky at 2am
Love that comes from the north, has seen the distant south
Ventured so far into the east as to
Come out in the west
Love that runs wild and
Love that runs free

That sound of love echoes at twilight and says:
"Complications have no use to someone
Who is flowing to the sea."
Following the ocean line
I will take what I know and
Let it paint me
With flames and bathe me in silence while I sit quietly
Eating apples on the cliffs and
Let the salty air
Seep into my bones knowing that
Sometimes it’s ok to look down
To know where to land

Hold On

2011-10-24T02:58:00.000-07:00

I spent a night stranded between two mountains under a field of stars. Friday, after a long and stressful week I decided to celebrate the end of it by running up Mauna Kea for the sunset and stars. At 13,700ft. Mauna Kea is one of the best places in the world to view stars. I left my car off of Saddle Road at 6,500 feet, making the summit around 12 miles away with a lot of uphill! A manic and wild run it was, wavering on the way up running into the sunset and feeling solidified and renewed running down through the darkness. The only problem was my car was broke down and would not start once I made it back. This was alarming at first but for some strange reason an incredible rush of calm washed over me. I even enjoyed the predicament in some weird way. After fiddling around in the darkness trying to get the car started I decided to just lie down and look up at the glowing sky. Luckily I had a sleeping bag, blanket, stove and hot chocolate mix. Nothing to complain about really. I was in a weird state all night, not really asleep or awake. Instead in some wacky realm induced from running for four hours at elevation, manic happiness from a clear singing sky, a sense of longing and feelings of uncertainty.

In the morning my car still would not start and I opted not to pay a ton of money to have it towed all the way back into Hilo. I asked some folks to help me push it onto Saddle Road. I ran alongside pushing and once there was enough momentum, jumped in and coasted 27 miles in neutral down into Hilo with a huge grin on my face... Out of control…. Once I made it down my car started with a stroke of luck and I was home free feeling thankful. I scribbled these words at 3am in state of tired delirium:

"Mauna Kea’s Starry Songs"

Hard times in the city
God damn
Hard times in the country
Left the dishes in the sink and
I’m going up a mountain
Heard the wild thieves are on the hunt
Trying to steal my heart
So I’m a' high flyin' up
Balancing on a thought and
Singing starry songs
Sung through my hearts voice while i'm
Stumbling and weary from the riddles
Yet harmoniously
In the midst of joy
Lookin’ for the right kind of love
To come and take me back down but
For now I’m just a’ high flyin’ up
Don’t know when I’m coming back down

Just saw him play at a small theater, singing the sweet blues all night long:

From the Mountains to the Sea

2011-10-03T15:34:00.000-07:00

(Mauna Kea,Mauna Loa,Hualalai from Kohala) The best view of the three together I have seen!

Chasing magic again
I reached and touched with my fingertips
A forgotten remnant
Of what it means to breath

So I ran along a forsaken ridge
And paddled through a fearless ocean
Thriving in the moment and wondering
If the stars are prisoners of the night sky?
Or if they burn with voluntary passion?
Looking over the edge
I caught a glimpse
Of blazing possibilities, then....

Fell asleep on the warm hood of my car
Awoke to rain under a singing moon
Feeling like a blade of grass
Intoxicated by morning dew

Sierra Misadventures

2011-09-17T23:06:00.000-07:00

Reuniting with friends in dusty bars and on mountain tops for quixotic quests while
practicing living in the present and letting go of distractions; just enjoying the simple flow of life, the solitude of snowy peaks, delirious hikes into the wild void of night fueled on absurdity, and full immersion into the essence of why I love to run and live.

(Jenn and Connie probably should not be alive, lucky to make it out)

City Trails

2011-09-04T17:03:00.000-07:00

The Yin and Yang of Richmond: Trails and buildings divided by the James River.

Back alleys can be just as beautiful as backcountry

Country Roads

2011-08-18T20:36:00.000-07:00

(Magic hour at Chesapeake Bay)

Sea shores, swamps, sand dunes, mountain tops, riversides, railroad tracks and back alleys; there are majestic places to run in Virginia.

I went on an amazing trip with my Dad to the Southwest Virginia Blue Ridge Mountains to run/hike/bike. Spending time in the mountains and running the Creeper Trail were things I wanted to do while back in Virginia. The trail was once a timber railway and is 34 miles long, gradually descending through farm lands, pastures, creeks, rivers and small towns. My dad biked and I ran, the miles floated by effortlessly.

Back In The Slipstream

2011-08-03T00:43:00.001-07:00

It was a journey back into the land of dreams, Halape. The 8 mile trail winds through a landscape defined by earthquakes, explosions, and tsunamis. Halape is a coastal oasis set below towering cliffs and in between two pools of lava (Kilauea and Pu’u O’o.) All of those elements make it a magical place to be. Patrick and myself arrived to an empty beach, the ghosts of yesterday and tomorrow were there dancing in the wind. The dramatic sparseness and lushness that encompass the landscape reminded me of the kind of place that angels and devils would whisper about.

At night the stars were out, falling across the sky and spinning circles around my mind weaving dreams as I slept. There were no waves on the first day, but plenty of other things to do and sights to see. Tide pool swimming, drinking rum from coconuts, napping, and running.

I set out for a run along the coastal trail and soon realized there was no one around for miles. I stripped off my shorts and ran to the rhythm of the ocean on one side and felt the pulse of Kilauea on the other. A feeling of true freedom, soul running wild. The following morning we woke up to the sound of breaking waves and I went from sound slumber to paddling out in about two minutes. Still half asleep, the first few waves I went for I ended up getting tossed and flipped underwater from being too slow. Not a bad way to wake up! The wind stayed down all morning and both of us were drunk with joy from riding waves in such a unique and tranquil setting. The first time I camped there over two years ago it felt like a sort of coming of age trip. There is still nothing like it for gaining clarity, perspective, and feelings of reaffirmation. Halape is a special place for me, a journey I need to make more often.

(Cool shot of stars and fronds from Patrick)

Presence of stars marching in
Shining over my dreams and
Pushing my boat
As it leaves Alcatraz
Now a breeze is blowing in
Saying
"Just live, love, and be gone....”
Like roots by the river
I’m drinking in..
Roots by the river
Seeds in the wind
Looking for a home
I’m a seed in the wind
Already home

July by Youth Lagoon

Believing

2011-07-10T11:35:00.000-07:00

The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single,
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle—
Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdain'd its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea—
What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?

-Shelly

Deep Appreciation

2011-06-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

This summer I am back in the field working at the therapeutic program I spent nearly two years as an instructor at. In those two years I grew and expanded, compressed and extended as a person. The process of working with others inevitably leads to pushing yourself causing personal growth. That element is what is drew me back for another go. One of the biggest things I learned was how to channel my energy into o areas other than physical outlets. I am ok with not being able to run or surf as long as I am pouring energy into something else that I enjoy and is challenging/positive. Through that realization I have been able to enjoy myself in the moment more and be content with whatever I am doing.

Three main components of the program are gardening, rites of passage, and wellness. All three of those aspects I try to incorporate into my daily life and it’s awesome to teach non conventional ideas and practices that contribute to a better world. In the rights of passage aspect, the concept of the Threshold is brought up when students go on their vision fasts. I started thinking about the many ways the Threshold relates to my life. I have experienced the magic of mindfully crossing a threshold when going on a fast a few years ago.

When physically walking through the threshold there was a mental shift. A door within was daringly opened and mindfulness of self was of most importance. How can this be applied to everyday life? How do I get to that in-between place where thoughts and ideas are combined with moments of magic and mind body and emotion are working together fully aware of one another? Running is a practice where all of the above can occur. It’s not every day that running or riding waves elicits such a state but it does often happen and there is no better feeling in the world when it does. There are smaller simpler things that can bring about feelings of magic and clarity on a daily basis. The smell of a lime, honey in coffee, a song that resonates, peeing while looking up at the stars, running up a steep trail, rocking in a chair in the early morning light….. There are so many simple things that can be momentary transcending and a threshold into that in-between state of complete awareness.

An inspirational part of working with the kids is hearing their intents. They develop an intent before going on their fasts. It is composed of words or a phrase that describes how they want to live and who they want to be. A few years ago I had an intent and I feel like I have lived up to it and put to good practice. I felt the urge to create something new and I came up with “I live a wholesome life full of passion.” To me it means living pure with quality, soul, and awareness; doing things that give me joy and fulfillment. I challenge you to come up with an intent about who you want to be and how you want to live.
I guess in the end things and situations are what you make of them. I choose to get excited and draw meaning and inspiration from small and simple things and it’s those things that give shape and meaning to my life.

Valley of Dreams

2011-06-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

Kalalau valley is one of my favorite places on earth. I get a similar feeling when I am in Yosemite or the Redwoods, but some quality about Kalalau goes a step further and produces a state of manic joy. A feeling of bliss is radiated throughout the valley. The whole coast is visually stunning and reverberates amazing energy. I could feel the pulse of the valley walls, the waterfalls, and the salty air. Feel it from the inside. I made the journey with friends Patrick and Will who were both as elated as I.

(Patrick on a dose of Bliss)

(Getting the day started at Will's farm. Sometimes coffee is hard to pass up.)

Down the road

2011-05-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

The fuse had been burning for a while; it was time to let it explode into a point to point long run down Mana Road. The dirt road meanders about 50 miles through the upper elevations around Mauna Kea, traveling through old Koa forests and wildlife refuge lands. I had a friend drop me off the night before on the Saddle road end, where the elevation is higher and the air resonates mana (the life force.) It was a relief to be in solitude amongst the clouds and listen to nothing but the silence of Mauna Kea singing in the twilight.

I woke up shivering at 4am feeling grumpy and cursing the cold. I was surprised that my tent was covered in ice, I wasn’t expecting it to be that cold. The grumpiness quickly faded as soon as I climbed out of my tent and was greeted with the howling moon falling and the sun slowly climbing up. I couldn’t help laughing hysterically as I heated up some water for mate', excited about running all day long. The night before I came across this quote which became inspiration for the day: “For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, "Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks."
Thus I became a madman.”

I decided I’d rather drink untreated water than carry a pack. I stashed my tent and sleeping bag and set out down the road with two water bottles and 6 gels, unprepared as usual. I was in awe of the morning ambiance from the light particles floating through clouds and the sound the damp gravel made as I ran along deeper into the heart of Mauna Kea. The miles came and went without much thought.

Towards the Waimea end, the climate zone changes. Along with mist and fog came a heavy feeling of introspection. Objects popped out through the fog only as I came upon them. For some reason there was an old rusty WW2 army truck up there, it wasn't very settling when that suddenly appeared before me. My first thought was "Ahhh ambush!!" I knew it was time to take a GU then, for my mind was starting to become a little more creative than I wanted it to be.

(Mermaid?)

The only rough patch came around 35 miles when it hit me that nothing was at the other end, I was running to nowhere and would be hitch hiking home. A real demoralizing thought. I pulled myself out of the despair and tried to allow myself to really enjoy the feeling, the feeling of being in the present and enjoying the moment. I guess if comfort was what I wanted I would never have left home. Soon enough I was laughing at myself and continued on. By the time I made it to the highway I was feeling a little loopy. I just wanted to be in my bed curled up and sleeping. Instead I was standing in the rain with my thumb out trying to get a ride. Not what I wanted to be doing after running 50 miles but I put myself in the situation. Luckily after 20 minutes I was picked up and the next thing I knew I was laying down on my floor dosing off to the sounds of old records. I just got a record player along with a bunch of old country and Bob Dylan albums. Hearing the crackling sounds and watching the notes float through the air was a perfect ending to a day full of running one of the most scenic stretches in Hawaii.

!!!!

2011-05-07T02:21:00.000-07:00

Dripping Sunshine

Cross the Threshold

Where the river meets the sea

Swimming through the colors

Ulu Power

Is there such a thing as too much fun? I think not.

Walkin' the Tracks

2011-03-21T23:53:00.000-07:00

It was a week of wacky wanderings around the island. It was nice to set out on a trip not knowing where or what I was going to do and just wander around aimlessly. My only intentions were to stop at every ice cream shop/bakery on the way and find a hidden cinder cone/pyramid energy vortex hidden deep in Ka’u that apparently has a waterfall inside of it and 50ft. tall ti plants surrounding it. A book claims that such a place exists and 99% of me thought it was foolish and waaaay out there. I have spent plenty of time gazing into those misty hills and they definitely have a powerful presence, like many places on the island. I happened to be feeling a little more foolish than usual so I set off on my quest.

After a long bike ride and walk from Pahala, I ended up deep in the valley surrounded by the giant “pyramids.” There was an overwhelming feeling of calm in the air. For some reason I felt like going no further, and just sat in the grass and enjoyed the silent calm that was echoing through the valley. I think some places are better off left unspoiled by human contact and this is one of those places. The feeling is hard to describe, the area didn’t feel threatening or welcoming but alive and raw like it has a mind of its own.

From Hookena my friend Patrick and I set out on a long paddle down the coast.

I was blown away by the deep blue water and at how clear it was. We paddled into a black sand beach that is only accessible by water; I had no idea the beach was even there. There was a fire pit under a cave with a piece of paper that was used for a painting pallet. It is awesome to think that someone paddled into the beach to camp out and paint pictures under the stars. After 4.5 hours of paddling we washed up on the beach at Hookena exhausted and sunburned.

Big Island Marathon:

I had a great time again this year at the run. I had no expectations coming into it other than to have fun and enjoy! Justin Gillette, a fast runner from Indiana was on the island so we got off to a speedy start. I just wanted to run with him for as long as possible. We spent the early miles talking and laughing, every time he would read out a mile split I would laugh because it was way faster than it felt. We went through the half at 1:15 which shocked me because it was a PR for the distance. At that point I was still feeling good but knew my fate was sealed. Like the moments after ingesting a hallucinogen, the outlook is whatever happens happens and hopefully it’s for the best. Sure enough around mile 17 I heard those familiar voices that said “slow down” “who cares, you’re not a competitive person just enjoy” My head was spinning and I actually stopped running for a few moments and stood on the side of the road. Then for the first time in any race I overcame a mental barrier and cursed myself out because I felt fine physically. I told myself, “What the hell, you have been running hard this whole time, there is no reason to slow down stop the BS.”

"You see, I want a lot.
Maybe I want it all
the darkness of each endless fall
the shimmering light of each ascent

You are not dead yet, it’s not too late
to open your depths by plunging into them
and drink in the life
that reveals itself quietly there."
-Rilke

And with that I started running again and finished with a huge PR of 2:39. Props to Justin for breaking the course record and pushing me to run hard.

Late Night SUN Rag

2011-02-24T22:44:00.000-08:00

The twilight paints with the fragrance
of your faded visage while
dragonflies swim through the citrus sky.

Whenever I am lost in the thicket
while sitting on the coast
your orange eyes let me see
the way to look and I wonder:
If I saw the sea through your eyes
would I still be able to taste the salty air
or would I be eclipsed by the shadows of
sand falling through the fingers of time?

So I sit in solitude thankful
that the stars don't blink and
you light the crossroads
where your light and mine meet.
We spill over the edge and spark
the night sky setting our passions aglow
as we become embers burning the morning sky
to light the new dawn.

Mornings at the Mill

2011-02-05T13:14:00.000-08:00

It had become a ritual of mine to walk out into the early morning glow, making the short walk down to where the ruins of the old mill and lands edge await. I am lucky enough to live a short walking distance away from my favorite surf spot on the island. I can hear the stream that flows down from my room keeping me constantly connected to perpetual flow of what I love. While I sleep the stream takes me out to that place where fresh and salt water meet, then drifting me out to sea. The walk down is a meditation, along the vibrant grassy path that has a life of its own.

(Path to the promise land)

Weather there are waves or not, watching the sun rise is an amazing way to start the day. I take my banjo and strum soft notes to the rhythm of waves breaking and rocks moving like a maraca. Strumming while the sun is rising, the air is warming and whales are jumping fills me with joy. Usually there are little to no people on the beach no matter the time of day, Some days I am out in the early glass with no one else in the water; An old fisherman the only other soul in sight. The ruins of the Onomea Sugar Co. watch over the back sand beach just content to still be standing.

(Angels in the water)

Two cliffs form a small bay that produces waves that break all the way across over the shallow rocky water. I have been salty sunburned and smiling day and night!

Blue Sky

2011-01-31T22:03:00.000-08:00

I love the Big Island so much!! There is mystery, beauty, and magic around every turn. Nothing makes me appreciate it more than driving around the island. I like living on the Hilo side because of how raw and rugged the ocean is off of the Hamakua coast. Paddling and surfing off of the windswept coast definitely makes me feel alive and directly connected to the pulse of life. On the other hand(or side of the island) I highly enjoy the calm clear turquoise waters of the leeward coast.

Kealakekua Bay is one of my favorite places for many reasons. Its stunning beauty, tranquil vibes and deep history make it a place that I frequent. Not to mention that on any given day you could find yourself in the middle of a pod of spinner dolphins, or this time of year witness humpback whales breach! There is no better way to celebrate a day in the water of frolicking/paddling than to stop by South Kona's only farm/speakeasy/my former residence for a night of live music and dancing. The Dirty Shack is a funky and unique place that is for sure. Two bands played really fun sets as the crowd steadily grew.

After dancing all night I somehow made it to the start of the Peaman Splish Splash and Super Bowl Shuffle. I am not a swimmer and have not swam since my life guarding days four years ago. I thought it would be fun to partake in the ½ mile swim/3 mile run event. There are different events put on throughout the year by Peaman and I have been curious try something new.

(Photo:Big Island Running Co)

There was a buoy marking the swim and I thought to myself from shore how easy it looked like it was going to be. However after the madness started and I got kicked in the head a few times, swallowed about 2.5 gallons of water and had a near panic attack from seeing only bubbles; the buoy suddenly appeared miles away. The only words that were going through my mind were profane as I tried to get out of the “fucking reptile zoo” and into a section of water that was clear and void of others. By the time I approached shore I could only laugh at the sad state I was in. Both of my calves were cramped up big time and one of my sides was cramping too. I felt like a plane stumbling in for a crash landing. I was so relieved to not be swimming anymore! When I went to put on my shoes my left calf contracted and started to spasm. This had never happened to me before so the only thing to do was laugh at the absurdity of it all. Once I put my shoes on and started running I was instantly rejuvenated and finished feeling great! It was a fun time, I really liked the laid back feel of the event and it was great to mix it up and try something new!

(Topped off a fun weekend by swimming through trails lined with ferns)

Indoor Snorkeling

2011-01-13T12:13:00.000-08:00

Heavy rain+ fog+ lazy evenings+ hazy electronic music+ oil pastels= Indoor snorkeling

Peaks and Pastures

2011-01-07T23:54:00.000-08:00

I have been doing lots of running and exploring around the land of red roads, rock wall ruins, ancient volcanoes, and waterfalls of clouds spilling from the sky. The grass in the pastures was glowing green as a collective bouquet but each individual blade contained the whole vibrant spectrum of the color.

I think of running as an expression and there are many ways to draw new lines and do old things in new ways. The vast and wide open landscape felt like a giant canvas for me to paint with my strides as I ran. Off of Mana Rd. many hills (Pu’u) dot the landscape rising up to various elevations.

There are no roads or trails to or up them so I decided to go truly cross country and run up various peaks in the area. It was just a matter of choosing a side to run up and a line to run down. I felt like a kid running through huge grassy fields full of wild flowers to the base of the hills. It sure was steeper than it looked from afar. I guess being juxtaposed against Mauna Kea will make anything look small from afar. I was happy because there are not many runable sustained climbs around that are off road. Once I made it to the top I saw the USGS marker that said Pu’u IO. I later learned that it stands at 3,547ft. I was confronted with the kind of view that I dream about and could just lay in the grass and dissolve into it. Echoes of Thomas Merton were ringing: “And a voice in me seemed to be crying “Look! Look!” For these are the discoveries, and it is for this that I am high on the mast of my ship...”

As I looked out the fog converging from separate directions, the summits of Mauna Kea, Hualalai, and the great Pacific; I thought how this is what gives shape and meaning to my life. Smaller hills were all around so I flew down the steep backside of Pu’u IO into and across a pasture and up up up and back down again. I made a triangle from the point where I went off road running up three of the fairly steep hills. The land is wide open clear to the summit of Mauna Kea so the exploring possibilities are endless! This was the first time in a while that I have felt better at the end of a long run compared to when I started.

This is what I felt like after 4.5 hours:

Trails, waves, whatever the medium, sometimes looking back it feels like part dream and part reality. What’s left over is a memory that shines bright and a lingering feeling of inspiration.

Continues to inspire:

Derek Hynd from aramis17 on Vimeo.

Under the Moon

2010-12-28T15:09:00.000-08:00

Floating freely flowered and prime
Across the way and to the time
Bloomed and blossomed glowing bright
Pitter patter all throughout the night
Curtains closed and a flickering match
Will light the leaf and lift the latch
Which way will it go
Under the willow or to the toe!

Head In the Clouds

2010-12-21T22:20:00.001-08:00

There is something cleansing about a long like. Just putting one foot in front of the other and breathing are the only concerns. With my head spinning from the demands of school and lack of free time I felt the pull towards solitude. The 7.5 mile hike up seamed desolate at first glance but subtly revealed its beauty. Slowly moving up the rocky trail was a real practice in staying present. Trepidations were nothing but loose threads dangling in the wind ready to be snipped, leaving me to think about nothing except what is and what will be. Just walking the labyrinth of thought, leading to the center of foolishness. My destination was red hill cabin, up 10,000 ft on the slopes of Mauna Loa. My aim was to run rocky trails in the thin air, search for fallen stars, dance under the moon, drink yerba mate all day long and into the night, read, laugh, sing, walk the tightrope between clarity and insanity. I followed the patches of fog as they floated on their pilgrimage towards the summit to gather and dance in swirls before journeying out to sea or evaporating into the shimmering divide.

The cabin was engulfed in a pocket of clouds and mist, to my dismay there were no views. I sat on the porch of the cabin bundled in my sleeping bag well into the night. It felt rejuvenating to feel the cold outside air from within the warmth of my cocoon.

(Sweet stove my dad made from a can)

(Spirits stir within the cabin)

I sat on the ledge saturated and damp from the silence that filled the air. A silence that could be felt and seen like a burning flame. That is the kind of silence that allows you to hear your heart and see your soul, to see in total darkness and breathe in a thousand lifetimes. A small break in the clouds around 2am offered a fleeting glimpse of the starry sky before being engulfed again by the bleak clouds. With a smile I went into the cabin and tried to fall asleep.

I was up early and out the door into the clear and chilly air. A momentary parting of clouds offered a glimpse of the snow kissed summit of Mauna Kea. The clearing did not last long, fog and mist ascended down upon the trail.

I started running with no plans of how far or how long I would go before turning around. Running through the mist and hearing the swoosh of lava rock under my feet was like an active meditation. Before I knew it I was at 12,000ft. I figured this was a good place to turn around since I had no water or food and had already been running a few hours. I love running at elevation, there is definitely something magical and inspiring floating around with the thin air. I often become manic and borderline lose control of myself and so was the case on this day. Hooting and hollering like a banshee I became a little lightheaded and had to sit and “sober up” before making the run back down to the cabin. Being able to access that kind of elevation and live by the ocean is a dream for me. Running trails and riding waves, always searching.

Hawaii snow falls
Like rain in the desert
Or joy that fills the heart of the earth
....It’s possible

Ka Lae- Through the Looking Glass

2010-12-12T12:12:00.000-08:00

Up before dawn as steam flickers from the kettle, adding to the early morning ambiance through blurry eyes.

We drove into the fading darkness through coffee country down the winding road to Ka Lae- South Point. Every time I drive by this part of the island I nearly drive off the road from peering over the cliffs, looking for a way to get down to the ocean. The surrounding land is private so that basically eliminates getting to the coast by land. What better way to explore the rugged coast than by way of sea. The turbulent water off the point is the place where winds and currents converge making the ocean come alive! We planned on paddling to Wai’ahukini a white sand beach about a mile and a half away along the cliffs.

I had my lay down paddle board and my friend Patrick was on his stand up board.
With the winds whipping I somehow managed to scamper down the cliff holding on to my 14ft board without disaster.

Getting into the water was a little tricky; we had to time when a wave was coming and just jump and go for it. I made it into the clear water unscathed. Patrick was not as lucky, being hit by a breaking wave and thrown back into a rock. He didn’t know it then but one of his fins was knocked out.

The sun weaved webs of light that appeared to hang from the jagged cliffs as we paddled along with the wind on our backs. Going with the wind, we made it to the desolate windswept beach in no time.It was hard to find an opening amongst the jagged lava rock and breaking waves, trying to make it onto shore. Again we had to just go for it and hope for the best. We both made it in without hitting any rocks and marveled at the surrounding landscape of giant sand dunes, colorful cliffs, vibrant blue ocean, and Mauna Loa sitting quietly in the distance.

I had heard that there are a few surf spots near but access was extremely difficult by land. The big limiting factor is the near vertical cliff face that must be scaled in order to reach the ocean. I saw the rope dangling down and wondered how anyone could make it down with a board. We walked along the beach like shipwrecked wanderers over white and dark green sand beaches towards the old village of Ka'iliki'i. Once a thriving fishing village until the lava flow of 1868, Ka'iliki'i is now just a name almost forgotten by time.
The small bay formed by the flow created a surf break that breaks when the stars are aligned. This day the waves were gentle and rolling. Smooth stone lined the shallow bottom making it fun for bodysurfing.

Rock wall ruins stood as symbols of the old village. The ruins created a feeling that was eerie, calm, and quiet but somehow peaceful at the same time.
Hoping over the jagged lava rock trail, we kept moving forward in awe of the surroundings and losing track of time.

When we turned around we were shocked to see the cliff where we started way off on the horizon. The giant cinder cone of Pu’u Hou towered in front and seemed to be rising from the sea. We kept walking towards it and found that unreal black sand beaches were at the base of the cinder cone.

The first thing I want to do when I see a pristine beach with no footprints is run as fast as I can along the waters edge, hooting and rolling around in the sand. Yes I did all of that! My footprints will be washed away for the next fortunate person who marvels at the place where the soft black sand meets with the cliffs and ocean.

When we made it back to the lone tree which we left our boards under and Patrick realized one of his fins was missing. As I started to laugh, a gust of wind sent my giant board tumbling down the beach like an inflatable raft. I chased it down the beach and watched in horror as it banged into sharp rock after rock. Yes there are many new dings and scrapes on my board but it’s hard not to laugh at such a thing. The paddle back into the now heavy wind was not was easy. I was laughing like a lunatic as my board went up and down in the chop, with the wind blowing a salty spray into my face. Patrick was like a sail trying to stand up and paddle hid board into the wind. He was forced to lie down and paddle the way back. An amazing day of exploring remote beaches and paddling through rugged and raw waters, feeling the heartbeat of the Ocean.

Seeing dreams in the reflections

Windward Wandering

2010-12-05T21:50:00.000-08:00

“I have a thirsty fish in me
that can never find enough
of what it’s thirsty for!

Show me the way to the ocean!
break these half measures,
these small containers.

All this fantasy
and grief.

Let my house be drowned in the wave
that rose last night out of the courtyard
hidden in the center of my chest.”

-Rumi

Noticing the flow
Becoming the flow
Letting daydreams
Unfold into reality

Alchemy

2010-10-24T00:23:00.000-07:00

The excitement is building! I’m getting ready to hop on an aeroplane over the sea and across the country to the Atlantic and Blue Ridge homeland. I can’t wait to feel the crisp Fall air in the mountains and run in the Mountain Masochist. This is by far my favorite race because it sparked my passion for trail running many years ago. It has been nearly three years since I last ran an ultra race, so needless to say I am really looking forward to it! That has been part due to lack of races around and just wanting to put most of my energy into other areas. It’s been an interesting past few months of running. In the beginning of August I finally got off of the week on week off schedule that would not allow me to run for a week at a time. The first thing I did was launch into weeks of 130+ mile weeks with long paddles with hikes in between. I knew something had to give after a run where I found myself crawling under a mango tree scavenging because I was thirsty and depleted, eating half rotten mangoes. Then one morning I fell on my face changing into my running shorts. My big toe somehow snagged a small hole which then ripped my shorts and made me crash down. Feeling dejected and burned out in all areas I knew it was time to take it easy. That led me to reflect upon the past few years of feeling good and remaining injury free. Why was I now feeling like crap just because I signed up for a race? Was it all mental? I found myself in the same position I was in 3 years ago the last time I ran in a long race, always feeling tired and uninspired. I knew I needed something so it was time for some alchemy and I went to mixing: the essence of fall, ancient spirits, misty mornings, starry nights, vast valleys and hidden waterfalls all reignited my desire. I went to my favorite places on the island to plumb the wellsprings of inspiration.

(Twighlight swim in the bay)

(Running through dreams)

I quit keeping track of mileage because it really doesn’t matter to me. The only reason I run is to feel good and enjoy the moment so that’s what I started doing. Then I then decided to run mostly at night and not wake up at 5am only to grumpily suffer through runs. I needed to embrace the darkness and start running inward.The night runs were introspective journeys. I was reminded of a book “The Pilgrimage.” Along the path the character had to eventually face the giant dog which stood for his fears, insecurities, and anxieties. In a way I felt like I was facing a giant evil dog in relation to my running philosophies. I used to not really try in races because I am not a competitive person. Over the past few years I have been able accept giving it my all in something while being completely detached from the result. I was told “It is time to claim your gifts because it is your birthright.” WOW, that statement has had a huge impact on me. Running in the dark is like moving through a worm hole in the mind. Shadows playing tricks, eerie noises, pitch black nothingness. I feel like I have overcome some sort of mental barrier. Three years ago I would have said screw it, just a stupid race and stopped running which is what I usually did. A therapist I worked with used an analogy when directing me how to work with a student. “………just like you wouldn’t train for a race and a few weeks before it say screw it and stop running.” That really put things in perspective for me because that is exactly what I did. Patterns are hard to break; at least I was able to recognize it and rally.

(Midnight paddles guided by the light of the moon)

(Mana Rd. Moonrise)

All of this brought back that certain swing in my stride and calm feeling that has me feeling ready to run like a madman through the mountains. I am looking forward to returning to my roots and running on the trails that sparked my love for running on a fall day seven years ago.

Just Flow

2010-09-19T00:20:00.000-07:00

When moving at 1,000mph I have to remind myself to slow down and

"Be the rock"

Strumming Light Rays

2010-08-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

Up the coast! Na Pali,Hamakua,Leeward, Windward,Wayward, all over the beautiful place is where I have been the past few weeks. Living at the root of it all.

This past Saturday I ran a half marathon in Volcano and had a blast! The morning of the run I was wide awake and feeling manic at 430am in my tent in the middle of a eucalyptus grove. I was pumped to be back in Volcano and breathing in the cool rejuvenating air. I jumped out of my tent, it was still dark enough for some moonlight dancing with the tree limb shadows that were swaying in the wind. I had just got back from Kauai where I was camping, hiking, and running with some good friends. The trip is still fresh on my mind and I have been floating on air, smiling at everything I see.

Kalalau is a majestic place! I was so wrapped up in the splendor of it all I forgot to eat or drink for almost an entire day, drunk on love and too excited to sleep. I have streaming thoughts of the misty peaks, secluded beaches, meteor showers, double rainbows, emerald eyes and angelic waterfalls.

Back in the valley were pools of cool water surrounded by blossoming white ginger. One of my favorite scents, soaking in the pools was transcending.

Back to the race, I wasn’t entirely looking forward to running on roads. I entertained thoughts of skipping out on the race and heading over to my favorite trails. The race ended up being a great time!! I felt good and enjoyed myself from start to finish. Running down the quiet streets amongst the ferns and blossoming yellow ginger that gave off scents of inspiration. I was surprised at how quick it went by and how good I felt. For me Volcano in such an inspiring place, I feel it flowing through my veins.

This painting was my prize for winning, it had a price tag on it for $1,200!

For now it's time to slow down a bit, work in the garden and spend time under the stars. Falling asleep and joining them shining up in the sky. I guess the sky is illuminated by the dreams of dreamers dreaming, so back down the path I go!

Livin' Simple

2010-08-11T18:12:00.000-07:00

I made the move to the sunny side of the island! It's quite a contrast from cool, misty Volcano but it is nice being super close to one of the best swimming/snorkeling spots in the state. I moved into a funky old coffee shack on 6 acres overlooking Kealakekua bay.

There has been lots of sunrise long runs and sunset paddles. I don't even have to start my car to get down to the bay, I just put it in neutral and coast the two miles down, haha!! My favorite part about living here is the huge garden, I have been working a lot on the land, weeding and planting. It is so nice to pick a huge salad after a long run!

Fresh Eggs!

The bay at sunset is a pretty magical place.

It is so nice to finally be back on a normal schedule after two years of working week on/week off, I am getting back into the groove!

Pure Joy

2010-07-28T00:03:00.000-07:00

The simple bliss of running, surfing, and life is captured in these shots of Eric and Drew. Different mediums, same feelings...

The Happy Virus

I caught the happy virus last night

When I was out singing beneath the stars.

It is remarkably contagious -

So kiss me.

-Hafiz

Oowahoo!

2010-07-20T02:28:00.000-07:00

It's so great to get on a plane and go somewhere, even if it is only a short hop over to another island! I had to go over there for a weekend course at UH, however I managed to fit in lots of exploring the highlands and lowlands on that overpopulated island. The North Shore is a real gem, and my favorite part of the island. I spent some time milling around in Haleiwa and running down the bike path, ending at Waimea Bay. I spent most of the day and into the twilight swimming, bouldering, and enjoying the feel of the bay.

I thought of the time two years ago when I was living on Oahu and completely broke. I biked around the island with my friend Mike, we were rolling disasters. Scavenging fruit from trees in yards and sleeping under the stars, Waimea was one of the places we camped. Now I reluctantly stayed in a hostel and I actually had a rental car. Luxury accommodations compared to the usual but UH gave me a stipend so I figured why not spoil myself. It was amazing to see the sunset, a rainbow, the moon, and feel misty rain all at the same time.

I was up early before class and ran the Maunawili trail, starting at the Pali lookout. I was greeted by the mystical landscape and sweeping views.

(Morning spirits stir in Nuuanu Valley)

I lost myself running down the trail, imagining myself as a leaf gently floating down from a branch high up.

(Refreshing detour to the falls)

I forgot what it was like to sit through a whole day of class. When i got out in the evening I was overly excited/borderline manic. I went for a run up Koko Head trail, which is insanely steep. I underestimated it, running up the old rail tracks super hard due to my manic state. Half way up the second pitch a wave of dizziness swept over me and I puked.... I was too stoked for my own good. I stopped for a few minutes and then started laughing at myself before continuing up. At the top was an amazing view looking across the island. There was a narrow ridge trail that went a ways and I started running it. This was probably the only place on the whole island where there was no other people. I enjoyed the solitude as I watched the busy lights of Honolulu come on, happy I had no place to be and was wondering around on a crater ledge.

There was more fun to be had:

(Hanauma bay)

There is no doubt Oahu is a special and beautiful place. I can't help but feel sad, the beauty is overshadowed by all the development and massive amounts of people on the island. Something is just not right about it. It's like a Towns Van Zandt song, beautiful but feelings of melancholy linger after. I was happy to be leaving and go back to open pastures and empty streets.

(Makapuu)

Into the Unknown....

2010-06-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

The madness has begun. Online courses have already started for the UH Special Education program I was recently accepted into. Writing papers, studying for the Praxis = Things I have not thought about in years, simple math is not seeming so simple. Figuring out how to juggle taking an online course while working a job where I am off the grid for a week at a time has left my head spinning. I have been managing all of that with long runs, paddles, and intermittent dance sessions!

With dangling fragments and comma splices dripping from my mind I started out running up into the mist. I just went where my feet took me. Before I knew it I had no idea nor did I care where I was. Through the Eucalyptus vortex.... Took a detour off the road, rock hopping up a gulch jumping higher into the misty fog.. into the unknown, immersed in the moment and nothing else.

Eucalyptus trees overseeing this land of forgotten times

The mist turned into a heavy cloudburst, something about it was overly refreshing and I started feeling wild. Wide eyed running like a maniac, the rain felt like instant rejuvenation sprinkled down from the gods. I kept running farther into the moment with joyous fury. A scent bouquet of damp earth, plumeria and decomposing guava waifed through the air, a manic moment!

Running back through the leaves on the ground had me feeling nostalgic for the Blue Ridge trails in the Virginia mountains, I miss running back there.

Time seemed to be standing still. I was zoning out, feeling loopy near the end of the 30+ mile trek; staring at a flower when time restarted with a burst. It was as if I saw it twice in the same moment, once in slow motion and once sped up, a flower unfolded from partial to full openness! Different stages of unfolding, I wondered what stage I was in? I just started laughing and continued on. Getting hung up on smiles and falling leaves, how good it felt to be running/exploring somewhere on the island I have yet to experience.

Long runs and paddles have kept me sane this week. Up the coast! Out of the protective breakwater of Hilo bay and into open ocean, muuush!! muush!!

Despite all of the school work I have only had one moment of insanity. Late at night, I somehow convinced myself I was going blind and had a mini freak out. Stress has been a foreign concept so I will blame it on that? I knew then it was time to get some sleep and yes when I woke up in the morning my vision remained intact!

Inspiring Feelings...Linger On

2010-06-01T23:11:00.000-07:00

It's so easy to become comfortable and complacent. I sometimes feel like Coleridge's Ancient Mariner, surrounded by water yet dying of thirst. In times like these I just try to keep my eyes open, for beauty and inspiration are around every corner.

I try to capture the essence
Of nights
When I can't sleep because my heart quakes my body
As I already feel tomorrows Sun rising within
But have to wait in the still darkness
Hearing the echoes of the conch shell whispers

Working wilderness therapy, being immersed in an emotionally turbulent environment non stop for a week at a time can take its toll. Some weeks I leave feeling fresh and inspired and others I leave feeling exhausted, frazzled and wrecked. Being involved with others personal growth and development definitely makes me turn the magnifying glass on myself, sometimes bring on traces of self doubt. Usually good things happen when you go on expansive excursions within yourself, I think Self Awareness=Awakening.

Being a part of others self awakening has no doubt helped my own self evolution. It's amazing how the small simple steps of practicing mindfulness towards others, self reflection, and working on the land growing vegetables can bring about a clear mind. Doing something for the mind, body, and emotion each day is something simple that is practiced and for me is a key component in overall health. A few weeks ago I picked up a hitchhiker, I had seen him before playing the harp in front of the market in Hilo. He was probably the most stoked person I have ever talked to. He was on his way to swim, "Mind, body, emotion. I've been reading all day, slept under a macadamia nut tree last night and now I need to swim." That outlook sure was working for him because he was pumped on life.

I often get asked how I find happiness, "You seem like a happy person"
Sometimes it seems so simple. I try to live my passions, do what I love,and give back to others while expecting nothing in return. Sometimes that question can seem so complex and the answer is who knows? Reminds me of something my friend Eric said the other day: "Sometimes you have to drive across the whole country just to come up with ONE idea" Words of wisdom, haha.

As for now, I am off to the place where the kind of sort of's and the maybe so's disappear into the certainty of glowing optimism.

Away.....To the Sun

2010-05-17T10:19:00.000-07:00

4:30 am, I'm suddenly wide eyed awake and jump out of bed, too excited to sleep. The night before I loaded up the essentials: Paddleboard, surfboard, running shoes, and books for a trip to the Kona side. Before the two hour ride over I went out into the chilly pre dawn morning for a run. Running through the fog filled crater with mist hanging from my skin like dew a symphony played in my head, I felt like I was in a Sigur Ros song.

I hoped into the Frog Ship and was off down the road. For the whole two hours I beat on my steering wheel and sung aloud, if I had not gone on a run I probably would have spontaneously combusted from being so pumped. I have been intrigued by Hualalai, the 8,200 ft. volcano that soars over Kona. I was hoping to run around up in the clouds and explore the crater up there. The trail was supposedly seven miles up Kaloko road, at around 5,000ft. The road winds through lush scenery with Ohia and Koa trees and Hapu'u ferns. I parked at the base of a super steep hill and ran up about a half mile and was surprised to see a locked gate with no trespassing signs up. I noticed someone sitting in a truck nearby and ran over to ask him if he knew anything about the trail. Turns out he works for Kamehameha schools which owns the land. He was there to detour people from using the trail. I ended up listening to Kaleo talk for almost an hour. He explained to me all the reasons for the trail being off access. It's rugged terrain and there has been a dangerous mix of hunters, bikers, runners, tourists, and nature enthusiasts. He was collecting data to figure out how frequent the trail was being used and by who. From there they will determine how to regulate public access to benefit everyone, while keeping the main focus land preservation. There was graffiti and broken beer bottles in front of the trail head. The sad truth is people can't even be trusted to not shoot up, trash or set fire to the land. With there being sacred areas up in the hills I don't blame them for preventing public access all together. Kaleo is a native Hawaiian and has an immense knowledge of history, I absorbed his stories like a sponge. He is a true caretaker of the land and has tremendous love and pride for the island. Hopefully one day I will be able to run up there but for now it was down out of the clouds and back into hot Kona. I spent a good majority of the rest of the day milling about in Kona Bay Books.

As twilight was fast approaching I went for an evening paddle out of Spencer Beach Park. The water was glassy and clear, allowing visibility of the reef below. There was a line of light from me to the setting Sun. It was tempting to just keep going out into the fading light, the sonic sirens were calling... Towards the life source of sonic bliss.

I paddled pretty far out and ended up.... In outer space. Here is an image I captured of the earth below as I floated through time and space:

....Only to end up back where I started, a mile out to sea paddling 100mph towards the sun. Shore back in the distance, visible only to my memory. I think of paddling as a combination of trail running and surfing. Being far out into the ocean powered by my own hands has the same feel as running over a 10,000ft. mountain pass. As the light was finally dimming I turned around and started making my way back to shore.

(Maui in the distance)

I was planning on running a half marathon in the morning so I parked for the evening festivities, ukulele strumming and reading before dozing off and going back into space.

(The cozy cabin of the Frog Ship)

I was woken up two separate times throughout the night by security guards and asked to move/leave where I was. The second time was around 1am! I am groggy when SUDDENLY woken up, especially when tired. Damn it I just want to sleep, I'm not doing anything wrong, I exclaimed!!!! Finally parking on some side street I pulled over and the next thing I knew it was morning. I drove to the start of the run and walked down to the tide pools and gazed out into the morning Pacific. I started the run along side about 40 others. I just cruised and ran at a comfortable, mellow pace most of the run. I hammered the last two miles down Ali'i drive, finishing in 1:23. It was nice to finish feeling good from not running too hard.

A friend from Hilo, Choy also made the drive over and had a cooler full of beer in his trunk. It was great to drink a beer at 8:30 in the morning and talk to a women running while balancing a bird on her arm! From the run it was off to Kiholo bay for a paddle. I was hoping to surf but it was flat on the leeward side so paddling it was. After floating around Kiloho for a good majority of the day it suddenly hit me that I was tired! At that point I just wanted to make it home to Volcano.

Light headed
Down the road
Why?

Trails Trails Trails

2010-05-02T19:22:00.000-07:00

The Big Island has trails through rain forests, jungles, deserts, along the ocean, and up to 13,700 ft. At 4,000 ft. elevation Volcano is an amazing place to live. Perfect weather, cool and misty along with some of the best trails on the island.
I made a promise with myself a while back, to always live within running distance of a trail head. Volcano has felt like home since the first moment I set foot. I had no place to stay and little money yet somehow I had such a nostalgic feeling. I was content pitching a tent amongst the ferns, waking up early and spending all day exploring the trails. Almost two years later, in my house sitting by the fireplace the wanderlust has not worn off and I still find it transcending. The miles float by freely like a violin bow on the soft trails, 20 miles goes by effortlessly. Someone recently asked me what I was training for and I said without thinking, "this moment" and started laughing hysterically. All I aspire to do is be healthy enough to run and surf on a daily basis and enjoy the things I am passionate about.
The past two weeks have been full of non stop running, surfing, paddling,exploring, skating and camping..... I feel lucky to be living in such a dramatically beautiful and ecologically diverse place, along with having a job that gives me the freedom of a vagabond.

(escape road)

(crater rim trail)

(Up Side)

It's crazy to think about running on the slopes of an active volcano.

Mauna Loa
(cabin at 10,000 ft.)

Lava Flowing into the ocean, the island is constantly in flux.

(Ainapo Trail)
This trail is pure madness, climbing 8,000 feet in 10 miles.

Mana Road: Waimea end

I love having a sunrise surf and then going up to Mana Rd.(7,000 ft.) to spend the rest of the day running.

Mana Road: Saddle Road side

Pohue Bay: A short two mile hike with our boards turned into a two hour trek over jagged a'a lava, we went for a short cut. There was HUGE shore break which made for great and punishing body surfing. It was great sleeping under the full moon and waking up to the roar of the waves and the sounds of the sea.

I have been listening to The Tallest Man on Earth nonstop.

Seeing Beyond Phenomena

2010-04-14T20:42:00.000-07:00

The Volcano weather, misty rain and chilly mornings has been inspiring and refreshing. Long runs, fireside reading, drawing, and baking have left me feeling rejuvenated. I have been living and feeling the essence of Spring, creativity and regeneration abound. Our house is a rain forest palace and I am the king of my own world.

Baking is a passion of mine. I first became interested when I walked into Costa Rican bakery 8 years ago. I was nearly knocked down from the whirlwind smells of the different bread and pastries. I was amazed at how something so simple could bring so much joy and make me that happy. While living in Bend I had the chance to be a baker at Great Harvest. I learned a lot and absolutely loved it. Waking up at 4am, baking muffins, breads, watching the sun rise over Mt. Bachelor was a great way to spend my mornings. I found it relaxing, meditative, and a fun way to create.

(The Mad Muffin Man, from my days in Bend)

5 a.m in Volcano

Fuzzy folk floating through the speakers like the drops of rain
Floating through the ferns in the foggy morning.
The smell of scones waifing from inside spark imagination
Sitting amongst the ferns rocking in my chair
Rocking to the silent sounds of my stare
Painting pictures of memories
Breathing in the mist before dissolving into it
Floating in the forest through the trails
Like a drop of dew sliding towards the sea

(I like to draw before and after running, this is a fuzzy morning time rendition of a lake near the summit of South Sister, Oregon)

My favorite thing to make for hiking/camping are scones:

DRY MIX
3/4 cup white flour
3/4 cup wheat flour
1 Tbsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter, chilled and cubed

WET MIX
1 egg
1 cup brown sugar
1 Tbsp vanilla
3/4 cup coconut or whole milk

Stir dry mix for about 10 minutes(yes this gets tiresome)
Stirring is key, the flour mix should be somewhat congealed

Whisk wet mix until ingredients are smooth
Add wet mix to dry, pour in a little at a time, don't want it to be to runny

Once both mixes are together add in fruit/nuts of your choosing

My personal favorite is the banana chocolate chip combo:Funky Monkey!

Bake at 350 degrees for about 20 min.

Waimanu Dreamin'

2010-03-30T23:51:00.001-07:00

This was the first week in months that Drew, Kati, and myself have been off on the same week. We kicked it off by surfing at a break I have never been to. Drew pointed out the jagged rocks barely sticking out of the water and explained the areas to avoid being stuck. I noticed there was not really a good place to get in/out of the water. He told me to time it and then paddle as hard as I can to avoid being slammed into the rocks. I was feeling a bit nervous because there were some pretty big swells rolling through, breaking in shallow water. After staring at the waves for a few minutes I took a few deep breaths and scampered across the rocks to wait for the right moment to dive in. I barely made it under the first wave as it crashed into the rocky shore. Out of breath from paddling as hard as I possibly could, I made it out unscathed. I hear a WOOO, and then see Drew flying down the face of a wave. Due to the shallow reef, the waves were breaking a lot faster than I was used to. I saw a wave coming my way and paddled, paddled, paddled, stood up and immediately lost my balance. I took a tumble and realized it wasn't as bad as it looked. I was feeling stiff but after eating it, some of the intimidation lifted and I loosened up and had some fun rides.

The unspoiled beauty and remoteness of Waimanu Valley make it one of my favorite places on earth. We brought along our boards and fins, seeking to ride waves any possible way. The highlight for me was paddling up the stream deep into the Valley, navigating through mangroves and brush. Spectacular!!

Ramblin' and Gamblin'

2010-03-26T02:02:00.000-07:00

I have only run in a few races over the past year. My lack of competitive attitude has for the most part kept me away and has at times been a moral dilemma for myself. The main reason I run is for the solitude and sense of being it brings. I feel a part of the landscape I am running in almost dissolved and blended in with the surroundings, free of time or desire. I used to wear costumes or run in events under goofy pseudo names to make myself feel better about it. Over the past year of running strictly on my own I have been able to put things in perspective and develop a peace of mind about races. To me being competitive means being shackled by the same mindset as a greedy CEO or politician. I know that may not be the case but at least that’s how I feel about competition. Is there a difference between putting that much tenacity into running and that of climbing the corporate ladder?

In December while back in Virginia I ran the Bear Creek 10 miler. What a wild run through snowy,muddy,narrow trails with several frigid creek crossings. Participating in the event rekindled my love of running in races. Not for competitive reasons but for the power of running to bring people together. I thought how cool it was for a bunch of people to gather on a Sunday morning and go through a romp in the woods. To me that is celebrating life! Richmond has a great running community, people who are just stoked on it. I remembered how cool it was to be a part of races, running with and not against people. For the first time I ran completely detached from the outcome and ran with the surroundings, noticing the curves, twists, contours of the trail and felt the icy water as I crossed creeks. I felt like a kid and there were about 100 other people out there having a similar experience, sort of collective effervescence. In a way races are about people gathering together and celebrating the joy of running. It would maybe be more appealing if more people saw it that way as opposed to having the latest gear or worrying about shaving seconds. The key for me was being completely detached from the outcome and free of desire. I tried to just experience the moment. That was indeed a revelation. I left those Piedmont trails feeling as wild and joyous as ever.

(Before the start of the Bear Creek 10 in December)

I felt like I did in the days when I first started running. I wanted to keep this positive outlook so I signed up for the Big Island Marathon in December knowing I would have moments of cynicism that may prevent me from signing up at a later date. Thank you Kahlil Gibran for writing this:

“Your soul is a battlefield upon which your reasons and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite. Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.”

Leading up to the Big Island Marathon I have had some solid weeks of running, 20 mile trail runs in Volcano followed by paddling in Hilo Bay for a few hours. I have come to love paddling just as much as running. They are similar medians that leave me with the same joyous feeling. The ocean and mountains are my two greatest inspirations. Despite not being able to run every other week due to my work schedule I was in decent shape and looking forward to the marathon. I was in the middle of a work week and was graciously let off to run by my supervisor Chris. The night before I made it into Hilo around midnight after being pulled over and surrounded by police cars. I just pulled out of a grocery store parking lot after buying some bagels for my pre race breakfast. I was so exhausted I forgot to turn my headlights on. I can imagine what the officers thought after seeing me with a muffin in hand and droopy eyes. I explained my situation and was let go with a warning! I managed a few hours of sleep in my van before waking up to catch the bus to the start. I barely remember anything of the bus ride except sitting in a daze. At the starting area my mind was humming like a full moon as the trees sighed in the stillness of dawn. I had no competitive aspirations, just wanted to run hard from start to finish. I loved running down the Hamakua Coast as the sun was rising. There were some pretty spectacular views of the ocean and jagged coastline that gave me inspiration early on. I thought of Jenn who was also running a marathon back in VA the same morning, and was also planning on hammering from the start. I felt uncomfortable from the start at the pace I was running but saw some humor in it. I wanted run a hard half marathon and just try to hold on for the second half. A strategy that was flawed from the moment it entered my mind, but again I thought it was funny so I went ahead and did it. The first few miles I was out of control, hooting, hollering, and singing. It seemed whenever I was having a low something, someone, or some thought would pump me up. Near mile 8 a husky puppy darted out of a bunch of banana trees and ran behind me for a few yards. I immediately thought of Ribbit and became manic and picked up the pace even more. Me and Ribbit have the ability to make one another hyper and out of control, and I thought of our wild runs through the mountains in Oregon.

(Ribbit on the slopes of South Sister)

At the halfway point I am pretty sure I went through faster than my PR of 1:16, but who knows I did not have a watch. I was starting to feel pretty crappy when I saw friends Drew and Kati on the side of the road absolutely loosing it, cheering. That was a breath of fresh air that I breathed in for a few miles. I was trying to stay positive, thinking of things that inspire me. The surf film Litmus has been highly inspirational in my life for years. I was thinking of Derek Hynd who seeks new perspectives and new ways to ride waves. Exactly the madman spirit I needed. The way he rides waves has been impactful on my running, he does not give a damn!

By mile 20 I felt like I was on a sinking ship, a sinking ship that was burning. I saw Drew and Kati again near mile 21 and they were still losing it which pumped me up but by that point not much could help my situation. I was just trying to dodge bullets, waiting for Stagger Lee to appear from behind every bush to gun me down.

Luckily that did not happen and I was able to run in the last few miles at a much diminished pace. I was ready to be done but it felt good to be a little reckless.
I really dread attention especially for running, something that is so personal to me. I would not mind winning an award if I did some noble deed, but for running? I felt a little silly afterwards, probably is a reason why I wanted to high tail it away from there immediately afterwards. After eating a Ken’s House of Pancakes I felt tremendously better. After eating I wanted to get back to the finish to cheer others in and see people finish. All in all I had a blast, for me it’s all about the experience and it was most great sharing it with 900 others.

There was a really funny/melodramatic article written calling me “The Ghost”
http://www.hawaiitribune-herald.com/articles/2010/03/22/sports/sports01.txt

Disclaimer: Drew made this video that mocks me, the race, and I think running in general.

Looking for Mt.Analogue

2010-03-15T03:26:00.000-07:00

Mt. Analogue is a metaphorical novel by French spiritual Surrealist, Rene Damaul. The characters set out to find and explore a mountain which connects our world with a higher realm of existence. They believe that such a place must exist geographically. “The door to the invisible must be visible.” They set out in the ship Impossible and believe they will find the land they are looking for when the sun's rays hit the earth at a certain angle, uncurving the magical field around the island where the mountain lies. After aimlessly floating around they finally reach the comically named city of Port o’ Monkeys. Lately I feel like I have been tooling around in fucking Port o’ Monkeys just like the characters. For me the book offered some valuable insights with passages like this:

“You cannot always stay on the summits. You have to come down again... So what’s the point? Only this: what is above knows what is below, what is below does not know what is above. While climbing, take note of all the difficulties along your path. During the descent, you will no longer see them, but you will know that they are there if you have observed carefully. There is an art to finding your way in the lower regions by the memory of what you have seen when you were higher up. When you can no longer see, you can at least still know. . .”

The winter funk is lifting, whisky bottles out the door, frozen highways melting. No matter the latitude winter is felt, the shadowy forms in the road ahead always appear larger in the winter, even in Hawaii. Here the draught is over, the sky has broken open once again and the brown withered plants are turning green. Inspiration is everywhere, hanging from the trees and floating through the air. Spring rejuvenation is falling from the sky making the Volcano air pure and my heart sing. Misty foggy weather is my favorite to run in. I feel like a prehistoric madman running through lands of some forgotten time, full speed without a care in the world. Dissolving into the trail into the ferns, into the mist, floating into oblivion full speed ahead!

(Photos from around the Island in honor of Spring!)

After getting off of work on Thursday, I signed up for the Kona Brew Fest Run for Hops 10k which was on Saturday. Friday night I drove over to Kona and slept in my van under the silhouette of Mt. Hualalai rising on the horizon. I sat up strumming my banjo and reading Parabola articles on Ecstasy and Divine Bliss. “I have tried caution and forethought; for now on I will make myself mad!” –Rumi. I laughed myself to sleep and woke up early to the sound of the ocean. I went down to the ocean and jumped in the chilly dawn water to wake up. It was a short run to the starting area at the Kona Brewery. It was a crowded event with lots of characters walking around, a nice sight to see. I was super excited, there are not many races around and when there is one it usually conflicts with my work schedule. At the start I felt like a lunatic, readings from the night before fresh on my mind. Especially the article titled “The Wide-Spun Moment”- Dancing on the edge of madness. That was me alright, I went out fast running the first 5k hard then took it easy for the second half. I forgot how painful a 10k could be. At the end it was a sub 35 minute 10k, fun fun fun. Whenever I am on that side of the island I go into Kona Bay Books and by the time I leave my head is spinning. Running, books, and beaches, not a bad way to spend the day.

In the end Mt. Analogue ends in mid sentence leaving us to discover our own way of being, question marks swimming around like fish in my mind. We are all sailing around on “Impossibles” looking for our own Mt. Analogue

Trippin in The Frog Ship Voyager

2010-02-03T21:50:00.000-08:00

I recently purchased a van, perfect for island adventuring. Plenty of room for bikes, boards, and sleeping. It has a few quirks which make it all the more lovable and adds personality. I decided to name it "The Frog Ship", with several variations. Frog Ship Odyssey, H.M.S Frog Ship, Purple Frogger.......

For the maiden voyage I decided to take a trip up the Hamakua Coast and run from Waipio to Waimanu Valley. I camped in Kalopa State Park the night before, a mere 15 minutes from the Waipio overlook. Kalopa is at 2,000ft. elevation making the temperatures cool and moist. I went for a little run through the lush old growth forest, through giant ferns and towering eucalyptus trees. I made it back just after the darkness settled and bunkered down in The Frog Ship. I removed the two back seats so there would be plenty of room. I sat under the moonlight pickin' at my banjo and thinking about the beautiful trails that awaited.

The next thing I heard was my phone alarm beeping and I leaped up in excitement. I drove the short distance to Waipio and watched the sun rise, with the moon still shining bright. I have made the hike in a few times so I knew how brutal the trail was. It is only 20 miles round trip but there are some killer climbs.

This was the most prepared for a run I have ever been. I carried two hand held water bottles and even brought along a GU. It starts off with a 900ft. descent down a super steep road to the Waipio Valley floor. Once at the bottom I ran about a mile along the black sand beach and listened to the glassy waves roll in. Next comes the infamous Z trail which climbs 1,200ft in a mile. I slowly ran up, enjoying the view while gasping for air. After reaching the plateau the trail undulates for about 7 miles through 12 gulches with some 500ft climbs in the mix before the 1,200ft. descent into Waimanu. I pushed pretty hard on the way and was kind of beat once reaching Waimanu. I went for a swim and did some body surfing in awe of the lush landscape. What a magical trail, lined with mystical ironwood trees and huge Cook Pines. The run back was considerably slower, I was bushed from all of the climbing. I held out on the GU until the bitter end. I don't know what I have against energy gels, for some reason I despise using them when not in races. I took it down after the climb out of Waimanu and continued on. Lost in the beauty of my surrounds I was back at Waipio before I knew it. The final climb out of the valley was brutal. I started to feel loopy about half way up and fought off thoughts of walking. It had been a while since I had a run where I immediately collapsed and curled up. I opened up the back of Frogger and collapsed and just laid on my side for who knows how long. I was on the trails for just over four hours and my legs felt every minute of it. After guzzling some water and eating a PB and honey sandwich I was feeling great and ready to drive back to Volcano.

The rest of the week was epic. After surviving the drive to Waipio it was time to take
H.M.S Frogger across the island. The adventure began like most do on Wednesday evenings before I get off of work. My friend and fellow co-worker Sarah joined me on the trip. Too many awesome things happened to explain!
-Kayaked in Kiholo Bay, swimming with turtles in a turquoise lagoon
-Watching Sarah spin fire
-Were 10ft. from breaching Humpback Whales!
-Paddled to the Captain Cook monument, snorkeling and swimming with dolphins
-Threw a Frisbee around in a misty meadow on Mana Road
-Played Quan(a fun hand game) from a tree in the mist back in Kalopa SP
Epic fun had by all!

Searching.....

2010-01-12T13:58:00.000-08:00

Finding waves, trails, and epic fun on the Big Island

Finding Balance

2010-01-06T00:15:00.000-08:00

Suspended at the edge of time, was how I felt driving down the highway just south of the Kona airport. I just ended a week working in the field, and just started week number two. Two weeks away from normal reality in a bubble that is often filled with madness! It was 9:30pm on new years eve and I have just dropped a student off at the airport. I had waited to eat dinner, knowing I would be in Kona and was looking forward to splurging on something after a week of quinoa and lentils. God damn, everything was closed: grocery stores, restaurants, even last resort taco bell. Driving through the glowing night tired, burned out, bummed out, I was forced to scavenge at a convenience store. I walk out dejected with an egg sandwich and a feeling of self pity. New Years Eve and I'm alone and working on top of that. My co- workers who I just worked the week with were manic and looking forward to the night, while I stayed behind for another week which added to the feelings of self pity. I began the drive back to Waiohinu egg sandwich in hand, when I felt a warm breeze blow in my mind. About a year earlier I participated in a Vision Fast and it was a profound experience for me. I recently saw the facilitators of the fast Angelo and Petra. They asked me if I have done anything to mark the year by returning to that sacred contemplative frame of mind. I had not had the chance since after I saw them I went back to Virginia to visit then came back and jumped back into work. Driving through the night my thoughts began to collide like diesel and dust on some foreign street.

I found myself sitting at Pu'uhonua o Honaunau, the city of refuge. The moon massaged me and I felt an incredible calm peaceful warmth wash over me. In ancient times the site was a safe haven for anyone safely reaching the grounds: Criminals sentenced to death, the ill, defeated warriors... Once the petitioner arrived the priest would be obligated to offer them sanctuary and absolution, under pain of his own death should he refuse to do so. Often the petitioner would be freed within hours to resume a normal life. These people were given a second chance for life itself. The giant wood carved totems stood over and stared back at me with stone faces, seemingly asking the question "What are you doing here." I sat for hours running my fingers and feet through the sand, putting things into perspective, soaking in the surroundings which were painted in the moonlight adding a surreal ambiance. The salty air fumigated with blooming plumerias, and silhouettes of dancing coconut palms lightly clapping in the mellow breeze. The totems which at first seemed cold and unwelcoming seemingly opened their arms and became friendly.

I began to think how lucky I was to be sitting under a Blue Moon at the start of a new year and a new decade. It is good to every once in a while have a check in with yourself. I felt surrounded by a presence, like something divine was looking from the past, present and future. At midnight I stripped down and waded out into a tide pool, bowed in each direction to give thanks and dove in. I have never felt so renewed and cleansed, taking a swim in the sea of contemplation. Sometimes when your alone is when you feel the strongest connection to people. Its hard to find the right balance of helping others but not forgetting about yourself. I have been at both extremes before. Once thinking only of running, surfing, and exploring and on the other end working with others only able to focus on their problems and not taking time for myself. I'm beginning to find the balance but still looking. My thoughts began to slowly fade out into the darkness like the distant sound of fireworks. It was great to start the new year with feelings of manic bliss and mana flowing through my veins.

The second week of work has been great, I have been able to get long runs in the morning. Exploring a part of the island I am not that familiar with. Running through rolling cow pastures shadow dancing in the sunrise along with the winds of nostalgia. There are some major climbs, steep gravel roads climbing 2,000 plus feet. One such road is marked Whaling's Hideaway and climbs up up up into the lush hillside. I am greeted each morning with an in your face climb leading up to eucalyptus and bamboo groves. At the top the gravel road continues up to the ridge where there are sweeping views of the pacific morning sun. The words: may love rise in your east facing heart comes into my mind and I shout it out to the birds as I run up the cattle fence with feelings of joy. Sometimes the only thing to do is pinch myself and laugh.

Equation of Life

2009-12-14T14:52:00.000-08:00

State of mind [desire + expectation] in which 1 believes 1's desires = realized [Darkly romantic drops of Ocean Water + aural power + running wild and untamed + waves of radiance + unadulterated purity]² / [delicate, transcendent breezes - slow burning sincere melancholy for what or who is not here] + vivid poetic devices that = outer reaches of the collective soul within our imagination + expansive, voluminous landscapes bristling with beauty/intensity = mind boggling epiphanies and realizations = innovative thought = sonic defiance of law and nature = My Life

Ode to Seashore

2009-12-04T08:19:00.000-08:00

Seashore State Park in Virginia Beach is a special place to me. I started running when I was a senior in high school because of those trails. Since my first magical day of wandering back there I have run thousands of miles through the swamps and dunes and the beauty neaver fades.

The dreamers are dreaming and the singers are singing
I do both dancing through your brilliance
Thinking of the first jaw dropping visit that sent
My imagination running faster than my feet
Through your enchanted forests
You blew the wind that set my ship assail
Yearning for the far side of the earth
This moment I am back full circle and growing wider
To witness all your glory and ghosts
Seashore I have seen many contrasts of you: A lover with a rough kiss
Soft sandy trails, dreamy swamps, dancing light
Misty biting cold, moss hanging so elegant from branches in your grand ballrooms
You have seen me manic, sweating, laughing hysterical, crying, ranting
Raving and howling at the moon in joyous hysterics
I have tripped over your roots, been scared in the dark
Been depleted staggering dragging feet across your pine needles
Each footstep has imprinted a part of you in me, your trails are with me
Wherever I run and your beauty wherever I look
I have left a part of myself with you hanging in your moss and
Echoing through your breeze

Rainy days are here!

2009-11-18T22:41:00.000-08:00

The sky is falling
There is nowhere to run
The roosters are crowing
Without even the sun
Winter time in my mind
Thoughts hibernating
Like all these rainy days
In this land of sunshine
Trying to let it all sink in
These days I like when it's cloudy
And I don't mind when it rains
Because baby this candle burns at both ends

Kohala Dreamin'

2009-11-04T12:32:00.001-08:00

Most of my adventures are dreamed up the week before while at work. It is hard not to be inspired from the sweeping views of the Pacific below or the majestic slopes of Mauna Loa above.

I feel extremely fortunate to have the job I do, drawing inspiration from the physical landscape, gardening, and the dynamics of the people I am working with. Looking out I imagine myself riding remote waves or running up lush slopes through the fog and mist.

(Arrrrrugula, Yes!)

North Kohala is a part of the island I have not spent much time, it was time for some explorations up in those parts. Non-stop surfing, running, and wandering was the plan. From Volcano we headed out first stopping to check the waves at our favorite spot north of Hilo. Driving over the bridge looking out at Honoli'i(a popular surf break) we were pleasantly surprised to see head high swells rolling through. WOOOO!! we v-lined it to the break and there we stayed for 3+ hours riding head high waves. It was non stop, there was a point where I didn't see Drew for 45 min. because we both we catching wave after wave. I nearly lost it laughing hysterically at how much fun I was having.

We finally hit the road again, now full of mania. We drove up Kohala Mountain road towards Hawi on the north eastern tip of the island. We wanted to check out some surf breaks, one of them the lighthouse. We finally found the dirt road and ran down to the cliffs a few miles away. A beautiful spot but nothing happening wave wise that day. It was cool exploring around the area and walking around the cliff tops. After running back we went to check Upolu Point. There is a gravel road leading down from a road that dead ends next to an airport runway. We parked and took off running down the road towards the wild coast. What a stunning part of the island! I felt like I was in Scotland, with the green cow pastures running down to the edge of the cliffs. Lunar tide pools below, we ran through the pastures along the edge of the cliffs with the swells crashing into the rocks below. Unbelievable! I will be back there soon.

After running back we drove through Hawi to Pololu Valley. I love Hawi it has a really cool charm to it, we stopped and filled up on baked goods at a killer bakery there. The road twists and turns through lush landscapes until ending at the valley lookout. We were greeted with a huge rainbow and the pot of gold awaited below. It started right where we would be surfing 20 minutes later.

We packed up our tents and grabbed our boards and walked the steep trail down to the valley, about 20 minutes.

The ambiance of the valley floor was mystical, painted orange from the falling sun and dreamlike from the mist of the breaking waves. We threw down our packs and paddled out in the twilight blown away at where we were and what we were doing. Unspoiled beauty! From the water we witnessed the sun set behind the valley and the full moon rise from the far horizon in front of us, It was so big I first thought it was the sun. After setting up camp it was time to feast! Burritos have become my favorite camping meal, fresh with cilantro, limes, and avocados!! What a way to end an epic day. Fully satisfied I drifted off to the melodies of the ocean and the dancing ironwood trees that lined the coast. No one else was down there, we had the place to ourselves.

(Monkeying around)

We woke up to morning glass, steep and fast waves but glassy! We stayed in the water for over three hours, getting some fun rides and also taking a beating from the waves. I got slammed quite a few times into the shallow sand the waves broke over. Exhausted we left the water and debated weather to make the trek to the next valley over Honokane Nui. Hell Yes!! We caught second winds and took off running up the steep trail.

The trail was hard to navigate and washed out in spots but up up we went to the top. Sweeping views of Pololu awaited.

The trail opened up and followed a ridge line and offered dramatic views of Honokane Nui. The waves looked good below and there was a stream bed that led to the back of the valley.

That will have to be another day, we decided to head back and continue on up the Kohala coast. The short but steep hike out of Pololu was kind of brutal, once back at the car we shouted with joy, WOOOOHOOO!! Driving back through Hawi, stopping for more cookies!!! we continued on. We stopped at Mahukona for some snorkeling. We pulled up looking at the crystal blue water with Maui shrouded in clouds on the horizon, ridiculous!

Mahukona is an old wharf so there were old props and chains on the bottom. We swam through ruins and gazed at the brightly colored fish around the coral. We drifted farther and farther out. Drew popped up and said he saw a dolphin, I was bummed I missed seeing it. The next thing we knew at least 70 dolphins were swimming all around us! We were in the middle of the pod and they were on every side, below us, and doing flips out of the water a few feet in front of us! All I could do was laugh hysterically and look on with amazement. We swam joyously with them for at least 15 minutes. Not wanting to over stay our welcome we swam in. I came out of the water feeling charged, fucking electric! From the parking lot there is a trail that follows the coast and we went for another little run down the path. What an epic few days! From there we went into Kailua to Kona Bay Books. I can't not stop by there when I'm on that side of the island. I loose myself in there, a huge selection. Walkng out with a few books and my head spinning I went on a group run with some folks at the Big Island Running Company. A short run down the busy Ali'i drive, it was a cool way to wind down the day and meet some new people. After the run it was time for a pint! I felt like I was on vacation, sitting at a table over looking the peaceful ocean and listening to a local ukulele band strum the night away. That was exactly what I wanted to be doing. After soaking it in for a while it was time to make the 2+ hour drive back to Volcano. The drive back is peaceful in the night, I rolled down the road listening to a few Neil Young albums and some Jesus and Mary Chain, singing at the top of my lungs out the window to the gods!

(Moon Frog on the night beach)

Riiiiiiiibbit!!

Yes!

2009-11-01T17:42:00.000-08:00

A new way of interacting with the ocean.

In the Slipstream

2009-10-22T00:42:00.000-07:00

This has been the first week in three months that my roommate Drew and I have been on the same work schedule. We picked up where we left off, non stop exploration of the island searching for waves and trails. We headed out from Volcano driving up the Hamakua Coast, stopping along the way to check our favorite surf breaks. There wasn't much happening in the way of waves so we went to Waimea to explore the Kohala Forest Reserve. I had been once before by myself and got severely spooked. The area has been closed since an earthquake in 2006. I heard the trail went to the back of Waipio Valley and was amazingly beautiful. I ran about two miles in and I had a strong feeling that I was being watched by something. There was a thick fog and mist falling, adding to my suspicious feelings. I ignored the feeling until the hair on the back of my neck stood up and an overwhelming feeling of fear came over me. I turned around and sprinted as fast as I could out of there. Towards the end a pig moved in the brush, not realizing it was a pig I let out a scream. I felt like a fool once I realized what it was. Once I made it back to my car I vowed never to return.

Yet there I found myself, the same heavy fog and mist falling. This time I was not alone. Since the trail is so over grown it was not that enjoyable. I would describe it as an "experience." Trails that are basically streams, washed out and on the edge of a cliff with a huge drop if one were to fall.

(Drew is in there somewhere)
We came to a clearing and heard a loud sound that was like a freight train rumbling. A waterfall, but the fog was so thick we could only hear it. Then we spotted a cave and went in for a look.

We did not have lights and used our camera flash for momentary light as we walked along. It went back pretty far, definitely something to explore when we go back with lights. We bushwhacked our way back out and headed for Kalopa State Park. There are some beautiful trails through native forest. I felt like I was running trails in northern California. Giant Koa trees and ferns were everywhere, we ran around for a few hours admiring the scenery.

When we made it back to Volcano we got wind that a south swell was due to hit. We along with our friend Katie packed it up and made the trek to one of my favorite places ever, Halape. It is an eight mile hike with our boards into complete paradise.

(Lava Trail)
Not only did we have the break all to ourselves, we had the whole beach. There was probably not another person around for 10 miles. Halape did not disappoint, head high surf and beautiful lagoons to snorkel in. Me and Drew were in the water at sunrise and stayed for at least three hours.

Once we paddled in we decided to walk up the coast to the next bay, about a mile away to check the waves and sit in the shade. There were some amazing tide pools we swam around in looking at the bright coral and colorful fish.

We paddled out not knowing what to expect and being careful to avoid any rocks in the water. We stayed out for a few hours, it was a nice left point break, not as good as Halape but a very cool place. After a nap and some food it was time for the twilight session. The wind died down and the waves were really coming through. It is a tricky spot because the water is not deep at all with sharp lava rock under it. We were both lucky this time to escape with no cuts. I did get held under for good while after being taken out by a clean up set. That is the worst, being hammered wave after wave. Some lyrics came into my head while being tossed around underwater. It started to make sense to me. "Tsunami drown me till I feel alive." They made sense, not in some sick masochistic way but a state of mind. Being totally immersed with what I am doing makes me feel completely alive. Hiking out there, sleeping under the shooting stars, being in the ocean all day and interacting with the environment was the Tsunami drowning me until I felt alive.

(The Mill, just outside of Hilo)

Drew and Katie made this video last month when they were there.

Parabola

2009-10-03T14:28:00.000-07:00

I recently came across several back issues of Parabola Magazine. I instantly fell in love with the ideas and content of the issues. Excited, inspired, and fascinated are some of the feelings evoked from the articles, truly refreshing. Below is an article that really stuck out to me and I have enjoyed reading it several times.

For a Man, There’s an Order in Life
It all starts with a good truck . . .
By: James Opie
Parabola Winter 2007

After not having a job for two years—Big Sur, sleeping among redwood trees, pot, LSD—it surprised me in early September 1967 to find that all it took to be hired as a substitute teacher in Oakland was to shave off my beard, buy a clean shirt from Goodwill, and fish among my belongings for my teaching credentials from the state of Ohio.

By the end of October paychecks were coming regularly and I could afford an inexpensive vehicle. At a Berkeley impound lot, I found a 1951 Chevrolet Suburban Carryall, a panel truck with windows all around. The color inside and out was military green. It cost me $60 and then another $12 for a battery.

Someone must have stolen the radio, since there was a gaping hole in the dashboard. Aside from looking out of date, the truck had dented fenders, which amused some of the kids in Roosevelt Junior High School, where I was hired as a full-time teacher in January. Roosevelt was predominantly black, so the Chevy, belonging to a young white teacher, served as a kind of leveler. Once in a while I drove a cluster of boys—two brothers who were black and a white friend—home, dropping them at one of their neighboring houses. The younger brother derived consistent pleasure from sliding into the backseat and saying, “Home, James.”

When summer came I was all set to drive back to Ohio to visit my parents, for the first time in several years. The military color of my Chevy didn’t seem quite right for visiting home, so I paid $50 or so to have it painted. I chose a blue that ended up looking too intense. But this didn’t matter. No color on earth could have made that vehicle look like something that belonged in the family driveway.

Having watched me from afar during the previous several years, hurt and uncomprehending, my parents surely had mixed feelings about my visit. At one point, when my father asked me, “Jim, are you psychedelic?” I couldn’t say anything in response. We leaned a lot on silence, but, all in all, the visit didn’t go so badly. Then I drove to the southern part of the state, to Barnesville, the home of my friend John Hutchinson. His friends all called him Lost John due to his monologues about who was lost (all of us) and who needed to begin thinking about overwhelmingly large matters—again, all of us.

John had visited me in California, where he took LSD, an experience that had shifted his concerns from the state of the planet to the state of the universe. Several months before I headed home to visit my parents, he’d written that he was back in Barnesville. The letter ended with: “Come meet my folks.”

The way he spoke about his parents, especially his dad, had always appealed to me. Perhaps I saw in John a direction that, a layer or two below the surface, I wanted to pursue in myself. I was just beginning to distrust the sour, repetitive thoughts about my father and no longer knew whose attitudes bothered me more, my father’s or my own.

The left rear axle of my Chevy broke when I was close to Barnesville, so with a hot summer sun overhead, I walked the rest of the way. On the edge of Barnesville a man named Walter, who wanted to be helpful and to have someone to talk to, joined me and we walked all the way to the front porch of John’s family home.

Lost John didn’t seem at all lost in his hometown. I had never seen him so relaxed. We walked to the town’s auto wrecking yard, which smelled of summer weeds and warm grease. John talked to the owner, who pointed to the corner of the lot. Within 20 minutes, John held the part we needed in his greasy hands.

Then he called a local mechanic, who sent his wife over to pick us up. John didn’t seem to notice how attractive this woman was. It was hard to take my eyes off her—such a remarkable combination of purity and sensuality. At the repair shop, she kissed her husband on the cheek before going into the office. It wasn’t a habitual peck. She kissed him. She stepped away and John thanked her for the ride as she looked back for an instant and waved, walking through the office door.

The mechanic said if everything went as expected, it would take half a day to get my Chevy going again—plus about $90.

Walking with John back to his parents’ home, I asked him if they knew he had taken LSD. He said that he talked with them about everything. They just listened. His father, whom he called Oldie, never, in John’s words, “cast a judgment.”

I mulled this over silently, thinking about my father. As if he could tell what I was thinking about, John stopped walking on the blacktop road and turned to me. “Oldie always says, ‘Let sleeping dogs lie.’ He says, ‘If you want to make an old turd smell, just poke at it a little.’ Jim, if you could let your dad be, he wouldn’t eat on you so.”

When we arrived back at the family home, there on the porch was Oldie himself. John’s father shook my hand, looking into my eyes with kindness. After introductions, John surprised me by going straight into the heart of the dilemma. This must have been part of an ongoing conversation between son and father.

“Dang it, Oldie,” he said. “It’s an infinite conundrum. It stands to reason that the universe is unified. But how? You’ve got all this positive force, all this good over on one side, and all of the negative force, evil or whatever you want to call it, on the other side. Energy, matter, space. Male, female. Everything’s in motion. Attracting, repelling. And time itself, instantaneous, without change, but always moving, and maybe never moving at all. Oldie, there’s got to be a way to resolve all of this, to balance it. There must be! It’s all got to be one!”

Thrusting his hands with outspread fingers into the air, John stamped one of his feet on the floor of the porch in a way that I had seen many times.

“Dang it, I can’t accept that it’s the God that people in church talk about. It’s bigger than God. It’s . . . God’s God!”

John’s father sat passively through this, without any change of expression. Then he got up and came over to where John and I were half-leaning, half-sitting on the railing. Speaking without haste, he addressed his son and me at the same time.

“Well, you have these questions. You young men have taken this LSD and you have a lot of questions. You saw something, and it’s hard to put whatever you saw out of your minds. But let me tell you how, in my experience, life works—how it works for a man.

“For a man there’s an order in life. First he needs to get himself a good truck, and by that I mean a job—something he’s naturally good at that earns him a living and connects him with the world, with other people. First, a good truck.

“After that, with any luck he attracts a good woman. Maybe he’s got to look for one and maybe one just shows up. But you need to go at life in the proper order to be sure of finding one. If you mix up the order, things get harder. Maybe you find the woman first and then the truck, or maybe you don’t find much of anything. Either way, putting these big questions you like to ask before you get your truck can be risky. You’re apt to never find very much you can live by. Very big answers have a way of slipping through very small fingers. You know, boys, a man can get stuck looking at the cosmos, as you call it, or at other men’s wives. Sometimes a person doesn’t end up with a real grasp of the big things he thinks he’s after, and doesn’t get the most basic things right either.

“A man needs what he really needs. No one can change that. First, get yourself a truck. Then a good woman. After that, you’ll be surprised how these other things, the cosmos and everything, find a way of working themselves out. Then you can question things from a patch of ground you’ve earned, and everything means more to you. From his own patch of ground a man can see a long way.”

John and I were silent. Not wanting to stare, I glanced at Oldie, trying to comprehend what he had just said.

Did he know, somehow, that at least one of us was ready to hear that?

To Live is to Fly

2009-09-23T23:48:00.000-07:00

Sitting under a bush on the side of the highway, in sweltering temperatures is how I found myself. It was one of those situations where I said to myself, goddamnit how did I end up like this? I could have easily asked someone to pick me up from the Kona airport, but instead I opted for the hitch/bus method to make the two-hour trek back to Volcano. From the airport I took off walking and picked up a short ride to where a bus would be coming by three hours later. Even though it was highly uncomfortable, I found myself strangely enjoying the absurdity of the circumstances. My head was still spinning from three weeks of road trips and sleeping in tents, from Portland to Arcata and everywhere in between. The sliver of shade I found gave me the chance to relax and process the past three weeks.

As I lay comatose in my tent in Jenn's backyard in Ashland, I hear a familiar voice call out "Wake Up!" What the hell, that sounds like my friend Chris who lives in Virginia. Sure enough the madman flew out to Oregon foe some adventuring, what a kick ass surprise!

(Chris enjoying the view)
Chris, Eric, and myself headed for the Redwoods and the Northern California coast. That section of the country radiates majesty, I love exploring and learning about the beauty. Feeling the brisk salty scented wind off the pacific and looking at the mountainous coastline shrouded in fog is a head rush of joy.

Down the coast we headed to Prairie Creek SP. We pulled over once in the park to check out a map and discovered a digital camera lying on the ground that sucks someone lost it. After sitting in the car for a few hours I was itching to run wild through redwood trails. We went for the Irvine trail that leads to the coast, about 9 miles roundtrip. It was out of hand how stunning and beautiful the landscape was.

I wanted to fall to the ground laughing it was so ridiculously beautiful. The trail weaved through giant trees, bright ferns, up and over gullies.
I was waiting to round a corner and see a brontosaurus grazing. We were hoping off logs, heel clicking and leaping up in the air loving it. The trail opened up and led across a foggy prairie straight to the ocean. Chris took the polar plunge and Eric worked on a Zen cairn.

(The ocean meets the sky)

(Eric's creation)
The trail back led through Fern Canyon, the walls flowing with ferns. What a stunning portion of the trail, lush with life.

The run back, my mind was off and I tried to become one with the landscape. Once back at the trailhead I noticed a familiar looking motorcycle. It was from the camera we found earlier. I happened to flip through a few photos and sure enough it was the same people. I ran over with the camera, as they were about to ride off. They were about to start backtracking, hunting for the camera. They were in shock at the sight of me running up with it, very cool how that ended up. Charged from the amazing run and frolic we headed for Arcata for pizza and pints! I love Arcata, I would describe it as beautifully fucked up. It is situated among beauty, but there are tons of people on the streets who are obviously strung out. The town definitely has a dark edge, but you can always judge a place by its pizza joint and used bookstore and it ranks high in those categories. There is a feeling of recklessness in the air with all of the beauty around. I felt like running around drinking whisky, listening to Tom Waits, and shouting at the top of my lungs. We camped at Clam Beach and fell asleep to the sound of breaking waves. The next day we hung out at Trinity Beach most of the day. Reading, relaxing, and exploring around the cliffs was a great way to spend the day.

We made an obstacle course and got really into it. It involved hoping across stones, hurling rocks, lifting logs, climbing, crawling, and sprinting. We kept adding new obstacles and rules and before we knew it we had each done the loop 5 or 6 times all out and were pretty beat.

We were thinking of camping at Jed Smith State Park but the highway sign for the Oregon Coast was calling our names and caused us to swerve lanes and head up the coast. Eric had camped at a nearby spot a few years earlier; he said we could wake up to the sound of foghorns. We threw up our tents in the harbor and looked out into the vastness, foghorns singing in the distance.
Back to Ashland the next day, stopping along the way to wander through groves of Redwoods. We rested a few hours before getting back in the car for Umpqua hot springs a few hours away. Jenny, Jenn, and Senor Ribbit joined us for the trip. By the time we made it to the turnoff darkness was upon us and the road was blocked off. There was a seedy map drawn with detour directions to the hot springs. We were looking for numbered forest service roads in the dark, no easy task. After a few hours of driving around back roads aimlessly and running low on gas we decided to backtrack and find somewhere to camp. It felt like the movie Old Joy, the characters get lost at night looking for Bagby. I love the line from it "The universe is a giant tear drop falling..." We finally ran into a campground and decided to hunt for the springs in the daylight. The temperature dropped and I didn't sleep a lick, shivering in my thin bag. The positive side of that was watching the icy sun rise over the lake with Ribbit in the early hours of the morning.

We easily found Umpqua in the sunlight. I have been two prior times and it never fails to blow my mind. The springs are perched on a cliff, cascading pools of heated water overlook the wild river below.

The trail on the other side of the river is one of my favorite places on earth. It is so fertile and lush, radiating the life force. There is a section where water is seeping from the stone moss covered wall, I could stare at it all day long feeling inspired.

(The reflection created a glowing green hue, I felt like I was in fairy land)
The next day before going back to Ashland we stopped by Crater Lake, the beauty speaks for itself. We talked about how beautiful and how fucked up everything is. Eric recited the Oscar Wilde quote, "We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars."

(From a restroom wall)

On the drive back to Ashland an amazing incident occured. In front of a convience store two women were dressed up taking pictures with a mannequin. It was one of the women's birthday and they were celebrating by being goofy and fun. They had a car trunk full of costumes! Jenny was the first to dive in, dressing up and standing on the side of the freeway getting truckers to honk. She almost caused an accident, one trucker almost drove off the road. The next thing I knew Me, Eric, and Chris were dressed in women's clothes trying to get truckers to honk. Chris was doing one armed push-ups and Eric was standing on the trunk of his car jumping up and down yelling. It made our day that those women were riding around spreading joy, it was fun to join in!

It had been an amazing three weeks, spending time with amazing friends. I really enjoyed spending time in Ashland, it’s a great town.

Back to Kona in the bushes I notice it’s about time for the bus and I crawl out. Here it comes barreling down the highway, I have to jump up and down flag it down running after it. The driver says to me, "Buddy you are in all the wrong places." I'm right where I need to be! It doesn't matter I can rest easy knowing I am headed for Volcano.

Oregon is for Lovers

2009-09-14T14:39:00.000-07:00

(Morning meditation, Umpqua River)

Visiting Oregon after a year on the Big Island makes me appreciate the beauty, uniqueness, and diversity of both places. For me the common threads that tie both together are the amazing trail running, farmer's markets and ecstatic dances. I came to Ashland to visit friends Jenn and Erik and Eric and Jenny, haha. After a few days of running up insanely steep mountains in Ashland it was time for a road trip. Eric, Jenny, and myself decided to take a trip to Portland with the focus being hot springs, live music, and ecstatic dances!! It was so great to be back in a big city, it had been too long. As soon as we got into Portland we headed straight for a dance. What a great way to loosen up after a long car ride. I am more sore after a few hours of dancing than I am after a long run. Participating in dances is so great on many different levels. Its great to be able to let loose and not care what others think, really we are all just a bunch of fools! After the dance we headed to the Bagdad Theatre to see Akron Family, an amazing band. One of the things I miss the most in Hawaii is the lack of live music. Before Akron an amazing jazz ensemble played. During there last song out of nowhere a member started singing and her voice was so angelic it could make rain fall from the sky. Akron played an amazing set, the perfect mix of folk/rock/noise. After the show as we were stumbling back to the hostel in the early hours of the morning,we came across an amazing discovery. Two hula hoops!! They had stickers on them saying "Ohh Yeah we are free" with a link to a flickr page to post photos using the hoops. "Hoop it Forward!!" We were so stoked! Some people made a bunch of hoops and left them all over Portland, what a way to make the world a better place! The next day it was nice just enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells of the city. We went to a farmers market and bought a bunch of fresh fruit and sat under a tree in the park most of the day enjoying it. The blasts from a mad trumpeter echoed throughout the streets putting a smile on my face. Portland is a kick ass city, from the markets to the beautiful trails in Forrest Park. From PDX it was on to Bagby Hot Springs. I have wanted to go there ever since seeing the movie Old Joy.

After a 1.5 mile walk through lush green forest and flowing streams we reached the springs. The place is just oozing with life. There are hallowed out logs you can fill with water from the springs giving us our own log tubs.

It was so relaxing to sit in a log and listen to the creek below. The next day we went to one of my favorite spots in the world, Smith Rock. It was there that I fell in love with running all over again a few years ago while I was living in Bend.

I learned to love the long steep trails up Misery Ridge, Burma Road and Grey Butte. It redefined what a hill was to me, running up became an active meditation. We took a hoop with us on a run and stopped for some hoop sessions periodically.

(Eric running up Misery)
The memory of getting lost back there came to mind. A two hour run turned into a 5+ hour run with some serious climbs. I have never ate as much pizza in one sitting as I did after that run. It was one of those where you finally make it back to your car and just collapse on your hood! The section of trail that parallels the river makes my heart fly out of my chest! The wild flowers growing along the banks, the sound of flowing water and the train whistle whooo whoooing in the distance. I love it, I love it!!! Nothing beats jumping in the cold river after a long hot run, so refreshing.

(Back of Monkey Face)

(The river is in the sky!)

Regroup

2009-08-25T01:14:00.000-07:00

Let yourself be silently drawn
By the stronger pull
Of what you really LOVE
-Rumi

Back porch sitting
Misty rain falling
Yellow ginger blossoms
Make me want to dance

The lost art of picnicking

2009-07-28T22:15:00.000-07:00

A splendid and joyous occasion was our picnic on the slopes of Mauna Loa. It was a clear day, providing sweeping views of the crater and volcanic plume in National Park as well as an amazing view of the summit. The setting sun painted the landscape an enchanting yellow which was cause for celebration. We not only had a picnic but a tea party as well!

The essentials:
-A proper picnic basket
-Blanket
-A beautiful location
-Good company
-Tea kettle
-favorite foods...

Feeling the Mana

2009-07-13T21:44:00.001-07:00

Mana is the Hawaiian/Polynesian concept of the “life force” that resides in people, animals and inanimate objects. Mana road is a unique, special, and unspoiled area of the island. It winds 45 miles through mist shrouded cattle pastures and wildlife preserves along the upper slopes of Mauna Kea from saddle road to the outskirts of Waimea town. Ranging in elevation from about 2,000-7,500ft. I had done some running from the Mauna Kea access road side so I knew how majestically sweeping the views are up there. I planed on starting from Waimea and biking 25 or so miles up the road and pitching my tent. The following day I wanted to get a long run in before biking back to my car.
My trip started Sunday morning where I headed to the Volcano farmers market to pick up some baked goods and fresh strawberries to take along. Heading down the highway from my cabin in Volcano the chilly morning air started giving way to the warm tropical air as I approached Hilo. Once in Hilo I made the turn up the Hamakua Coast about 50 miles to get to Waimea. What a lush drive, views of the deep blue pacific on my right and waterfalls and every imaginable shade of green to my left. Coming up to Waimea I took the turnoff for Mana road and drove a few miles back until the pavement gave way to the cinder road. I was greeted with just what I wanted to see, open land covered in fog with a light mist falling. I let out a WOOOO!! As the sense of freedom started to overtake me.

It had been almost 2 years since I had been on a mountain bike so I was stoked to be going for a long ride. My pack was unusually heavy, weighing in at just under 1,000lbs! Due largely to throwing in a copy of Don Quixote, which I had recently started and was unwilling to leave without. I also brought along Pablo Neruda’s 20 love poems, I usually have it on me at all times. A heavy pack is the price to pay for being a nerd. Along with the reading material the contents of my pack consisted of: Tent, rain jacket, running shorts, peanut better, honey, crackers, pumpkin bread, and a bag of stale pitas. My only concern was finding water. I brought along my filter but did not know if there was going to be a source. I figured it was cattle country so the cows have to drink something. I strapped on my pack saddled my bike and down the road I went into the fog, into another world.

I listened to the sweet songs of silence and drank in the beauty and vastness of the expanding hillsides. After drinking it in for a while I decided to fully dive in, head first. I became fully immersed in the surrounding environment, my senses tuned in to the rhythms around. I imagined myself as a molecule of water dancing through the air floating to the ground. I slowly seep through the porous volcanic soil until meeting the outer reached of the Koa tree root system. I’m slowly drawn in to the main roots and up into the trunk, up up to the highest reach and outer branches. I wondered, is the joy I’m feeling similar to the sensation of photosynthesis for the Koa?

Verses from Rilke come to mind:

“I live my life in widening circles that reach out across the world.
I may not complete this last one but I give myself to it…
I still don’t know: am I a falcon, a storm, or a great song?”

I am the soil I ride over, I am the grass I gaze at, the feather on the fallen tree, I am everything as I pedal down the road further into the mist. After about three hours of riding I was beginning to feel discouraged due to the lack of water supply. I started with only a liter, expecting to find some. I had not been drinking much and was beginning to feel a little loopy from riding hard. Just when I was entertaining thoughts of turning back I came across an old farmhouse with a water catchment. I took out my pump and filed all three of my bottles, this should easily be enough to hold me over until tomorrow. I was rejuvenated from taking down a few bottles of water and eating some crackers. Recharged from the break I headed back out into the mist cranking it into the big gear. I felt like a 19th century steam locomotive as I powered up the steep ascents, WHOOO WHOOO take off your coats we’re going for a ride!!! A few hours later I was beginning to look for a place to set up my tent. It was getting late in he afternoon and I saw just the spot. A small clearing in a grove of trees with half a dozen turkeys hanging out near! Its funny how camping spots usually pick you instead of vice versa.

I tamped down the knee high grass and set up. I climbed in feeling wiped out from the nearly five hours of riding. I immediately dozed off, awaking right at twilight. I tore into my pumpkin bread and made a PB and honey pita. I started to read some Neruda, feeling very satisfied. I poked my head out of he tent noticing the clouds lifting and a few stars emerged. I began reciting the lines I was reading to the turkeys and stars.

“I fling my sad nets to that sea that beats on your marine eyes.
The birds of night peck at the first stars
That flash like my soul when I love you!!!!”

I grabbed my headlamp and threw on my running shorts. I waned to get in a little starlight run; I went out and back for only an hour total. The clouds rolling in covering most of the stars, I again felt as if I were a part of my surroundings completely dissolved. Back in my tent I slowly drifted off feeling as if I were sleeping atop a cloud. I woke to the brisk pre-dawn air stepped outside and admired my dew drenched surroundings. I filled my hand held water bottle, jumped into my running shorts and climbed back up to the road. I was hoping for at least a three hour run but I was open to other possibilities. I felt prepared, bringing water and even a gel. Usually I don’t like to carry anything with me on runs but since I was 25 miles in any direction away from any help I thought it wise to carry that stuff. The sun was poking through as my stiff legs took their first short strides. I turned a bend in the road and was greeted with a rainbow arching over the road, Unbelievable!

I was feeling the Mana travel through my veins, electric love
flowing like a thousand raging rivers flooding my entire being.

Frolicking down the road I took a detour to Douglass Pit. A grassy trail led through lush vegetation and giant trees to a monument for the Scottish botanist David Douglass (Douglass Fir) who was killed near the spot in the mid 1800’s. What a magnificent spot, lush with Ohia and Koa trees. What are those? Giant Akala berries!!!!! Akala berries are the native raspberries and before my eyes was a field of them. I picked a few before heading back to the road and continuing my run.

My heart and legs were feeling light as I galloped down the road. I was feeling amazing as I reached Mauna Kea access road?

That means I just covered a least 18 miles, making it a 36+ mile roundtrip run. It was an effortless run; I wanted to keep it that way so I confronted the enemy. The espresso hammer gel in my water bottle, I took down trying not to gag. The way back was just as effortless; I can run forever in a place this majestical. When I made it back to my tent I checked my watch, I had been running for 4:45, smokes!! 36+ miles covered before lunch, what a day. I laid in the grass beside my tent and again dozed off.

I woke up feeling not that well, super stiff. I was not looking forward to biking back but I did not have enough food to stay another night. I scarfed down the remaining crackers and PB and slowly packed up my tent. The rain was beginning to fall fairly hard as I threw my pack back on my back.

As I started peddling four horses ran out of the mist and crossed the road in front of me. Again unbelievable! It doesn’t get any better than rainbows, wild berries, and prancing stallions running through the mist.

The bike ride that had taken me nearly five hours the previous day took only about 2.5 seconds. It was all down hill. I did not really notice the gradual uphill the day before. Before I knew it I was back at my car, what an epic trip.
Mana Road is a special place that engages the imagination and inspires the physical. I fee like I have a better understanding of the concept of Mana. It is not some supernatural force that only mystic healers can comprehend and experience, it is a tangible feeling that anyone can experience. All you have to do is open your senses and allow yourself to be consumed. I think feeling Mana is recognizing the hidden processes that are taking place at all times. From the psychology of the turkey I just disturbed to the pondering about what the inside of a mountain is composed of. Opening all of the senses and feel the phenomena of life move around us, within us, and through us. Share a drink of light with the tree and be drunk with it all, letting the electric love of Mana flow through your being.

Stumbling at the Kona Marathon

2009-07-11T00:47:00.000-07:00

By mile three I was gasping for air and knew I had sufficiently screwed myself over. Regardless I was happy to be running wild and enjoying the warm and fragrant early morning air. I was in the middle of working a week shift at the wilderness therapy program I work for. I was lucky and thankful to be granted the day off to run. This type of work shift has prevented me from being in great shape. My exercise while I am out there for the week consists of manic jump roping and moving loads of soil to build new beds to plant a variety of vegetables and flowers. My off weeks however are out of control consisting of ecstatic rain forest runs, backpacking trips, wild dancing, and lots of surfing. The night before I left work and drove to Kona where I managed a few hours of sleep in my roach infested car. I had no expectations going in, actually I expected to have FUN. My only goal was to do 5 jumping heel clicks.
When I found myself out of breath early on I took refuge in the majesty of the coastline. There was an amazing view of the ocean and the various surf breaks along Ali'i Drive. I imagined myself paddling out in the placid surf and before I knew it I was at mile 8 and feeling descent. rounding he turn to the highway I caught a glimpse of the sun rising over Mauna Kea and flipped out, hooting and wolf calling as loud as I could. Around this time I was joined by Aaron who would eventually be the second finisher. We ran beside each other and leap frogged for quite a while. The highway stretch of the run was awfully boring and very hot. I was pumped to finally reach the turnaround point and start heading back towards the finish. I love cheering for other runners that are still heading out, its inspiring for me to see everyone and pumps me up to run harder. A few times I lost control yelling and thought I was going to have to stop and catch my breath. It was a cake walk up until I reached the 17 mile marker . I was finally dropped by Aaron for good and reduced to a slow trot. The heat was creeping up and I knew I was depleted. I would get a burst of energy at each aid station as I gulped ice cold water. I got a good laugh as I poured what I thought was water over my head, but it turned out to be Coke. At that point I didn't care about anything but not running anymore. My legs were trembling from the heat, reminding me of the smoldering days running the boardwalk back in Virginia Beach on my breaks from life guarding. I got a huge boost around mile 20. In the middle of the road was a huge turkey feather! I stopped to grab it and fastened it under my bandanna. One day on a run along the slopes of Mauna Loa I followed a trail of feathers for miles, so finding one in the middle of a highway became a source of energy for me. Feather in my hair I began the stumble the final 6 miles towards the finish. By that point I was done and what I was doing could barley be called running. I am thankful for the bike pacer, he offered words of encouragement and provided me with a moving object to follow. left to my own devices I might have walked it in. I finally reach the one mile to go sigh and my vision is becoming slightly blurry due to the heat. There was a waterfall fountain set up which I pause under to let it flow over my body. I start gulping it and I nearly fell over and took the fountain down with me. I gave myself a quick get it together talk before I took off for the finish, having a killer song by Japandroids in my head helped me bring it in. "You can keep tomorrow, after tonight we're not gonna need it" reverberated in my head providing just the kick I needed. Relief and rejoice the finish is in site and I managed to finish third overall in 2:58. I don't care about the time, I accomplished my goal, doing well over 20 jumping heel clicks!!

Inspired by the Mystery....

2009-06-22T18:11:00.000-07:00

Halape

I finally feel that I have found something I have been searching for all of these years, like I have taped into the essence of joy and freedom and realized how simple and primitive it is. With friends Drew and Katie we set out for the Halape Shelter in Volcanoes National Park. It started with walking a trail 8 miles carrying our boards and culminated at remote surf break where we rode waves and immersed ourselves in the stunning landscape for three days.

It was such a transcending trip for me. I have dreamed of surfing in a remote back country setting since I began back in middle school. The trip encompassed my passions: backpacking, surfing, running, rock climbing, and star gazing. Halape evoked memories of some of my favorite places. Sweet floral fragrances reminded me of running along the banks of the James River in Richmond. The remote surf reminded me of dreaming of such a place while back in Seashore State Park, the place where I began running. The dry air and landscape of the hike brought back memories of running up Horse Butte outside of Bend. All of these amazing places and memories fused into one spot of remote coast on the Big Island had me buzzing with joy, dancing up and down the face of waves. Both me and Drew were inspired by the movie Litmus and it reflected in the way we rode waves.

I draw parallels to running and surfing, I think trail running is the closest thing on land there is to surfing. I get the same sense of ecstatic joy and freedom from both. Dancing on waves at Halape I have never been happier!!

Visions

2009-06-08T02:59:00.000-07:00

Back in November I was lucky enough to go on a Vision Fast facilitated by the School of Lost Borders. Three days with no food, sleeping under the stars near South Point. After the dust settled and I sifted through my thoughts this is what the experience meant to me:

Conch shell whispers
Echoing the things I leave behind
My thoughts dancing with the wind back through time
Searching
For that peace of mind I left behind
Centuries ago
I fall asleep drunk with passion and awake
Hungover from solitude
Longing
To kiss the pineapple lips of life
Lonesome for love
That has left down stream
Over the falls and become
Fruitless at the bottom of the ocean
On my ship of light I will follow
The rays of hope
Out of the rotting harbors of doubt
And cynicism
Out to see
It written clear on my sleeve that
The time has come
Waiting for the bee to pollinate my soul
So my love will once again rain down
To make the earth fertile